I know, I should be grateful that I even have a monitor...even if it is the crappiest of crap-craps.....BITE MY FAT FUZZY!!! I'm NOT grateful!!! ::insert foot stomping here:: I want my old monitor back! It had a 19 inch screen, pretty colors, a contrast button that actually worked (herein lies my problem), and I had decorated the area around the screen with cute little Pooh thingies! Pooh makes me happy, get over it. I'm not on this planet to please you!
When I look at my favorite blogs I want to be able to see their imaginative backgrounds, not your basic run-of-the-mill blackhole.....I want their kids to look human, rather than resembling dark orange Star Trek rejects!.....I want pictures of sunny scenery to look sunny, and not cloudy with chances of a hurricane!....::insert big ass whine here::
What really gets my knickers in a knot are my beautiful buttons (I just had a line from Shrek slam into my head and it is refusing to go away! "not my beautiful gumdrop buttons!" Am I the only person on this planet that can't stand that whiney cookie's voice??? If he was chocolate chip....ohhhhhhh....he'd be such a goner!!!)...ok back to MY beautiful buttons.....they are only beautiful on this crappy-crappola piece of crap! When I saw them on Butchy's laptop....not so much....didn't look as beautiful as I thought. Butchy says that they're fine and basically....no I'm not quoting her here....I'm so anal I can't sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture (that just sounds painful!). For now my buttons have to stay imperfect. ::groan:: I do suffer so. I think I feel "the vapors" coming on.....uh oh....I just re-read the part about chocolate chip cookies....they are the only cure for "the vapors" that I know of. Not that I actually looked for any other cure once I discovered how well they dealt with the much dreaded "vapors." Why would I even bother continuing my highly scientific study??? That would be lunacy!
Mother of God & the Pope, too! I can't believe this! I just looked up the definition of "vapors." No, Merriam-Webster doesn't have the " ".....that's just cuz they aren't as clever as I am. Anyway...the definition....get a load of this:
1 : diffused matter (as smoke or fog) suspended floating in the air and impairing its transparency
2 a : a substance in the gaseous state as distinguished from the liquid or solid state b : a substance (as gasoline, alcohol, mercury, or benzoin) vaporized for industrial, therapeutic, or military uses; also : a mixture (as the explosive mixture in an internal combustion engine) of such a vapor with air
3 a : something unsubstantial or transitory : PHANTASM b : a foolish or fanciful idea
That was all truly booooooring! Now here's the good stuff!
4 plural a archaic : exhalations of bodily organs (as the stomach) held to affect the physical or mental condition
Here's the one I was talking about...sheesh they saved it for last!
b : a depressed or hysterical nervous condition
I just HAD to bold and "redden" the bestest part of the definition......wait til y'all hear about my Mama!! That woman mastered the fine art of "vaporing." Again with the " "! Cool your jets, Turbo....I like 'em! Just so y'all know...I don't do the finger " "....that's just annoying!
This post is a heckuva lot longer than I had planned....blame it on "the vapors." I'll tell y'all about my Mama later. Y'all? When did I become a southern belle? Oh, that's right...when I started discussing "the vapors!" Here they come, again! Hurry...hand me a chocky chip cookie!