Saturday, April 23, 2005

Potty Post

Here are some laws that I know exist, even if they aren't in any lawbooks:

When I have to pee so bad that it's starting to squeeze through my chubby-bubby thighs...there will be an obstacle course for me to conquer before I can reach the bathroom. We're talking about an obstacle course that would break a Marine's spirit!

When I don't really have to pee, but I'm gonna go anyway....there will be absolutely nothing in my way....the path will be as clear as Gonzaga University's hallways during spring break.

When I need to run into a grocery store for one item....I will ALWAYS go in the door farthest from the item I need. Not because I planned it this way to get more exercise....oh no!....that's never on my mind....I'm running in for a necessity like chunky brownie fudgy ice cream....not exercise, please! I have my standards!

When in a humungous store and I realize that I need to pee NOW....I will be in the extreme opposite corner of the bathroom AND every slow-doddering-pokey-just-browsin'- gonna-hog-the-WHOLE-aisle-with-my-cart, -my-fat-ass and my retarded child WILL undoubtedly be in front of me!

When I read a hardcover book I take off the dustjacket, I'd rather have that look pristine than the book itself....I know, I'm a dork. Anyway....when picking up a hardcover book without it's dustjacket, I will ALWAYS end up holding it upside down.

The quicker you want someone to move the slower they will move. They are in direct proportion to each other. ALWAYS!!!

These truths I hold to be self-evident....I'm sure there are bunches more, but I really needed to pee so peeing was all I could think about as I was planning this post while going potty.

Sidenote: If anyone can explain to me what the hell Thoughts and Humor was saying in their comment on my Books, Books and more Books post I'd appreciate a translation. That comment made my brain cramp....where's the "Mindol?" Yes, I meant M-i-n-d-o-l!


Blogger Queenie declared....

What Thoughts and Humour was saying was that you have a blog that is funny, refreshing, and not normal of the usual blog stereotypes. I also think he was saying somethingabout GOd (Designer/Architect), but that may be me reading FAR too much into his comment a 520 AM. Yeah, that's it.

4/23/2005 5:24 AM  
Blogger Burfica declared....

Amen sister!! I wanna know why god has a sense of humor whenever we have to go really really bad. Like why in the world would he curse you with a sneeze when your doing the pee pee walk through the obstical course???

That just makes you tinkle as you walk. Dammit. LOL

4/24/2005 2:03 AM  
Anonymous Jenny declared....

I take off the dustjacket too! I don't want it getting all dogeared.

4/24/2005 8:02 AM  
Blogger Pryncess Kat declared....

Queenie, thanks for the translation...whether you're right or not doesn't matter, I'm gonna stick with it.

Burfy, you are soooooo right! The peepee dance....that's how I get most of my exercise!

Jenny, I'm glad I'm not the only one in the world that's screwy like that! LOL

4/25/2005 5:37 PM  

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