I Am the Champion!!!! Snort!
I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won!!!!
I wasn't able to attend the star-studded ceremony due to not being invited....but, I'm sure that ALL the big names were there singing my praises. Except for Tom Cruise, he's just icky now.
I'll keep my acceptance speech short:
I'd like to thank all the little....uhmmmm.....kitten asses & penis-slaves?! That made this award more than just a dream for me. It's now my reality. All those kitten farts and gasping-fish-peenies were worth it. It is my honor to accept the Queen of Ass Snort Award. As the winner, I will do my best to uphold my duties. Now, where's my f'n tiara & sash???
Here's my wonderful, expensive,
and gold-plated award:
and gold-plated award:

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