Saturday, April 30, 2005

Roommate Update

For those keeping track of our adventures with Manpig & Free-Rider here's the latest:

It was a sleepy and snorey night....Butchy still 3/4 asleep made it into the bathroom without stubbing her toes or running into any walls. Suddenly she found herself standing in a puddle....yes, a puddle which happened to be right in front of the potty!!! With a few well chosen expletives (fancy word for cuss words) she finished her bizness, threw her soaked socks into the laundry and started planning Manpig's (aka: Leland's) violent death.

Prison is not the ideal place to spend the rest of your life....even though you do get free medical, dental, education, food, rent, laundry service...WAIT! maybe it is an ideal place! Well, except for your neighbors, I hear they can be horrid. Anyway.......Butchy doesn't have prison on her list of places to live before she dies. So, murder was no longer an option. We had to come up with something to deal with Leland's "pissues." Talking to Free-Rider (aka: Jerry ) was a huge waste of oxygen.....he's got the backbone of a jellyfish. I bet his balls are the size of raisins....if he has any at all. He responded to our extremely valid complaint by basically letting us know we were being petty. Trust me, if Free-Rider walked in Manpig's piss he would have a huge faggy-fit.

We have come up with a solution to our problem....we bought a new doorknob for the bathroom. Manpig will have to use Free-Rider's bathroom. Considering the upstairs bathroom is 2-3 times the size of the one the 3 of us have been using....there's plenty of room for Manpig to piss all over the place! We're pretty sure that Free-Rider will have a faggy-fit about us locking Manpig out.....oh well. He didn't solve the problem, so we had to! He will just have to deal with it!

Now we just need to find the time to get the new doorknob installed. I'm going to have to wear the key on a lanyard around my neck. Guess I'll become pretty good at doing the pee-pee dance while unlocking the door! Sure beats having to deal with Manpig's pee all over the place.


Blogger Burfica declared....

ewwwwwwwwww I would have picked up the piss soaked towel by a dry corner and tucked it in between his covers.

with a note to please stop pissing on the floor.

4/30/2005 4:40 PM  

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