Fresh & New
I am now a westsider. That's the catchy name I've made up for myself and all who live west of the mountains. This move has been really good for me. I'm physically and emotionally leaving the past behind & moving forward.
Before leaving Spokane I decided to leave all the hate & angst behind. A life with hate is a life controlled by hate. I'm tired of all the hate and anger. Me hating my ex does not benefit anyone...it just holds me captive & suffocates me. It also causes nasty heartburn! It is hard to keep my focus on letting go of the hate...especially when the computer bill arrives. But, it's a conscious choice that I must make to have any quality of life.
Something else I've been coming to terms with is that her evil is not my stupidity. She was upset that I didn't trust her...but, I trusted her enough to give her the means to screw me over. If I hadn't placed any trust in her she couldn't have done what she did. You don't give someone keys to your house if you don't trust them. It's important that I'm cautious in the future, but if I don't trust again....I won't love again.
Some of the steps I've taken to move on is: before I left Spokane I dropped the charges against her & I decided not to sue her. Yes, I would win the lawsuit & I was justified in pressing charges...but continuing down that road would only prolong getting her completely out of my life. Her no longer existing in my world is more important to me than getting back everything she stole. She didn't steal anything that's irreplacable...at least, not that I've yet discovered.
I'm taking the nearest exit off Hate Highway & dedicating myself to staying on Interstate Integrity. My integrity is intact...she couldn't steal that.