I'll be pooping in no time!
I'm what some would call anal....a tight ass...tightly wound....detail oriented...irritating as all get out...and some not-so-nice monikers. Basically what it all boils down to is this....if the checkbook doesn't balance I'm nutsoid. For more hours than I would care to add up today I have been obsessing over the checkbook. I have a background in auditing....that job was made for obsessed nuts like me. My situation today would make anyone nuts....yes, even you!
Here's the deal...I was reconciling my checkbook online. I was happily reconciling away when OMG!!...I was missing 2 transactions!!! 2...TWO!!!! as in more than one and less than three....T W O!!! My stomach instantly went into clench-mode...now that I think of it, so did my ass! I'm pretty sure I was suctioned to my seat. Ok...so 2 transactions appear online...but, not in my checkbook. They were for fast food restaurants....there's no doubt whatsoever that they're mine. If they were for a health club &/or a health food store that would be a completely different story.
Now here's the wonky part....these transactions were from early September. Lately we've been living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. What that means to those living above the poverty level is that come payday the checking account is very thin...absolutely anorexic....like maybe $10 in it, if we're lucky. Wonkily enough....I was never in the red! In fact, the only reason I chose to reconcile my checkbook today was because there was a $2 difference between what I said I had in the bank...and what the bank was saying. The bank said I had $2 more....now we all know that's just wrong! After spending hours and hours of trying to figure out how I didn't bounce any checks with 2 transactions totalling almost $24 missing from my check register.....I found heaven. I had a come-to-Jesus moment....I saw the light....The Hallelujah Chorus began playing in my mind....it was almost orgasmic...almost....The answer to this Agatha Christie worthy mystery? I had transferred $25 from savings to checking in early September and never wrote it down!! Do you hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing The Hallelujah Chorus??? Do you!?! I sure do!!
Here's the deal...I was reconciling my checkbook online. I was happily reconciling away when OMG!!...I was missing 2 transactions!!! 2...TWO!!!! as in more than one and less than three....T W O!!! My stomach instantly went into clench-mode...now that I think of it, so did my ass! I'm pretty sure I was suctioned to my seat. Ok...so 2 transactions appear online...but, not in my checkbook. They were for fast food restaurants....there's no doubt whatsoever that they're mine. If they were for a health club &/or a health food store that would be a completely different story.
Now here's the wonky part....these transactions were from early September. Lately we've been living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. What that means to those living above the poverty level is that come payday the checking account is very thin...absolutely anorexic....like maybe $10 in it, if we're lucky. Wonkily enough....I was never in the red! In fact, the only reason I chose to reconcile my checkbook today was because there was a $2 difference between what I said I had in the bank...and what the bank was saying. The bank said I had $2 more....now we all know that's just wrong! After spending hours and hours of trying to figure out how I didn't bounce any checks with 2 transactions totalling almost $24 missing from my check register.....I found heaven. I had a come-to-Jesus moment....I saw the light....The Hallelujah Chorus began playing in my mind....it was almost orgasmic...almost....The answer to this Agatha Christie worthy mystery? I had transferred $25 from savings to checking in early September and never wrote it down!! Do you hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing The Hallelujah Chorus??? Do you!?! I sure do!!
How do I spell relief?
T W E N T Y - F I V E D O L L A R S!!!!
Aaaaaahhhhh.....feel the unclenching begin......like the title for this post says....I'll be pooping in no time!
posted by Kat at 9:17 PM
2 Comments:
OMG that is so funny. I knw what you mean. I balance my checkbook (not online, on paper) and I was 55 cents off. I spent like a half hour thought I found it, and made all the changes, then re checked and nope still off. I had crossed out so much shit on it. finally found it though. grrrrrrrrrrrrr hate that. LOL
thank goodness for 25 buckeroonies.
You're not going to believe this (I hardly do), but there's a mystery $153.03 in my account. There has been for almost a year, but I still don't DARE assume to spend it.
I balance to the freakin' penny. I have NO idea where this $153.03 came from, but it's always there.
And I know as soon as I spend the damned money the bank's going to realize it's there and take it back out...
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