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Sunday, May 01, 2005

When I Grow Up

I'm gonna......

...go on Survivor. I'll pull my hair back with a barrette made out of flint, wear alllll my clothes from the first day we all meet (I figure 3 bikini's, rain poncho, military khaki's with tons of pockets, hiking boots, and new eyeglasses with glass lenses)......the eyeglasses will be for making fire in case my barrette isn't allowed. I'm not gonna bother taking undies....I'll be living in my bikinis. (when I grow up I'm gonna have a kick ass bod!)

...speak Spanish & French fluently. English is just so limited.

...be a writer for CSI or Law & Order. I'll have main characters play double roles....they'll be wearing awesome disguises...you won't know if they will be the witness, in the jury box, the perp (cop word for bad guy), victim....it will be something else to figure out other than just "who done it." I got this idea from CSI: Las Vegas' show on Thurs night....their was a guy in the loony-bin that was an older version of Warrick....I got to thinking how cool would it be if, without telling the audience, they started having their main characters play numerous roles??? I know, I'm a freakin' genius!

...invent practical thingys that will enhance our lives. I have some ideas in my head that are soooo cool....too bad a patent costs like a bajillion bucks!

...master the fine art of making the perfect pie crust. I don't like pie....I love the filling, but the crust tends to royally suck. I want a pie crust that is like a croissant...melts in my mouth, rather than the gummy ones I usually end up with. I wonder if you can use croissant dough to make a pie??? Hmmmm....I will ponder this ad nauseum (I think this means until it nauseates me or anyone close to me). I looked it up and here's the definition: ad nauseam: So as to disgust or nauseate. That works!

...have a tighter bladder and a looser sphincter....I love the word sphincter..... it's not that I want to be pooping myself, far from it! I just don't want to be a tight ass....except for in the hard body kind of way.

...become a tubthumper. "Pissin' the night away....."

...eat less, not less chocolate...less of the other stuff like protein, veggies, all the boring stuff.

...be a woman of mystery....I'll start now and not tell you how I'll go about this...how's that for a mystery.

...not be so easily distrac

3 Comments:

Blogger Mace declared....

...be a blogger?

Great post. Loved it. Kudos!

5/01/2005 2:59 PM  
Blogger The Zero Boss declared....

Great post. Made me laugh, especially the last line. Thanks!

5/01/2005 8:01 PM  
Blogger Alekx declared....

more attention to what..huh

Did you say something


Talk to Burfica over at don't eat the tomatoes.
My sister makes the bestest pie crust...she can help you out. Honeset

5/01/2005 9:03 PM  

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