This was originally posted on Feb 3rd....since we spent 4 hours at W*M Supercenter last night, it seems fitting to repost this. My head is doing better, but still not 100%. Thanks for all the warm wishes and creative advice! I'll be back posting original deep thoughts and petty crap soon!
Wally World Activities
It makes my day when I read an e-mail that cracks me up. One of my absolute favorite exercises is laughing. *When ya got a body like mine, laughing is quite the work-out!* These e-mails are much better than the ones that want to increase the size of my penis! Those penis extender ads cause me to wonder where the ads are for tightening up a woman's.... well....you know....I don't think I'll continue down that rabbit trail!
Here's the one that cracked me up in Feb:
While Your Spouse Is Taking
Their Sweet Time
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell them "Code 3 in Housewares" and see what they do.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly,
"There is no toilet paper in here!"