Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Dub's Dom

I had a dream the other night I was making out with the President. It wasn't some gorgeous face on G Dubs body...nope it was him in all his redneckedness. Hey! Just cuz a guy wears a suit and lives in a big white house doesn't make him any less redneck! That boy is the King of All Rednecks....we, unfortunately, have to call him "President." Anyway...back to my dream.....

It started with me rubbing his shoulders. In my dream I was noticing how huge his shoulder pads were under his suit jacket. I started wondering if underneath the suit this guy was a scrawny little chicken-legged geek. He kept trying to pull me around in front of him and I kept moving away from him. He was continuously talking about how much he wanted to kiss me and I kept thinking, "I don't want that stupid mouth on me!" It was my hope that the SS guy outside the door would interrupt us with some kind of a national emergency. That didn't happen....where's a national emergency when you need one? So, G Dub keeps pawing at me....I then recall the days when I was living my life as a straightish woman...I knew to give a guy what he wants. It will only take about 5 minutes and the rest of the night is mine to do with what I want. It's the best way to get them off your ass. They're not whiney/pouty for not getting their way & you have peace and quiet for the rest of the night.....unless you come across one of those guys that has to talk about how manly he is and how good he is & blah blah blah. Nothing is worse than hearing a guy talk about how wonderful he is when it was a quickie and all you got out of it was a mess, a cramp in your thigh & rug burn. Yeah, really rocked my world, Speedy.

With that thought in mind, I did what I had to do to shut Dub's trap and get this ordeal over with. I thought I'd have a little fun and made him call me President Kat. I figured I'd tell him what to say and then I wouldn't have to hear his stupid babbling. Oh yeah, I dom'd the Prez...and it was good! He was my Bitch that night! Instead of giving him his way....he got mine! I rode him like a pony around the oval office, whipping his boxer'd ass.....he was wearing those sock suspenders on his scrawny chicken legs, too! I determined that if I had to be here "serving my country" then I was gonna give the SS one helluva show....I just hoped they could keep their laughter down.

After dom'ing Dub, like the bitch we know he is (I'm convinced Laura is a dominatrix!)...I made him get himself off. No way was I gonna touch the Prez's peenie! He was crying like a baby, thanking me for being such a patriot. Oh yeah, that's me...Ms Patriotic Dom. Thankfully, I woke up and it was only a nightmare. I'm still gay...and, he's still a redneck bitch.


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