Thursday, February 24, 2005


So, I'm watching Court TV and for some reason unknown to me, or anyone else in this dimension, an old job comes to mind. Years ago I worked for a crematory. It may sound odd but that was one of my favorite jobs. Part of my duties was to answer the phone and also to answer any questions that someone may have regarding the cremation process. The best call I ever got was one that went like this: (K is for Kat...that would be me. And C is for caller....that would be...well....you get the picture)
K: Thank you for calling The Bakeshop* how may I help you?
C: Hi, I have a brother that just died.
K: I'm sorry for your loss how can I be of help?
C: Well, see, he's a pretty big guy.
K: Ok.....
C: uhmmm....ahhh...well.....
K: How can I help, sir?
C: Do y'all bake 'em by the pound?
K: (Desperately trying to hold back her raging inner laughter) Do you mean would we weigh him to determine the charge of cremating him?
C: yeah...do you bake 'em by the pound?
K: No, sir. We don't. There's a set fee for cremation. If your brother is too large for us to be able to do his cremation here we would have his cremation done at another facility.
C: Oh, ok. Thanks!
Yep, that is definitely one of my favorite calls. I've been chuckling about that call for years.

*Name of crematory was changed to protect the stupid.


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