::Kat's Thunk Chunks

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Quiet attempts = cacophony of sound

I am cursed. Whenever I try to be quiet I succeed in making more noise than a herd of stampeding centipedes! Of course, the centipedes are the size of PT Cruisers and they are wearing tap shoes. You would think that I would learn: when I need to be quiet DON'T try to be quiet. Travelling that line of logic would lead me to believe that I would then succeed at being quiet....but, no. Because I know that I am trying not to be quiet cuz I need to be quiet, therefore, I am anything but quiet! I'm giving myself a headache, I better be quiet.

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I'm older than Rolling Stone magazine, younger than color television, bigger than a Xbox, smaller than a Winnebago, taller than a goat, shorter than a horse, wider than a parking meter, "narrower" than the Space Needle, serious as a heart attack, sillier than the tickles, smarter than the average bear, dumber than my Mom, prettier than dirt, "uglier" than a sunset, girlie as a pryncess, moves through crowds like a linebacker, anal as an accountant, laid-back as a slug, darker than white chocolate, lighter than butterscotch pudding, louder than a whisper, "quieter" than a fog horn