Ginormous Chunks of Deep Thunks

Where the hell have I been?

2010-02-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

Good question! Let's see.....ummmmm.......think think think.....ummmmmm......welllllllll.......i've been in a hole....a cave....a delusion.....a deep pit of despair.....yeah, that works.

Love sought me out in the pit of hell, wrapped its arms around me, melted my titanium walls and drew me out into the light of wholeness and healing.

With overwhelming gratitude i can easily say i'm....smitten....twitterpated....gonzo....over the moon.....head over heels.....yes, i'm in love. His name is God. Amazingly enough....He feels the same way about me! We're still in the early stages of our love. ok...to be completely honest...i'm in the early stages....turns out He's loved me from the second i was a glimmer in His imagination. He's pretty incredible...i can't wait for you to meet Him and tell me what you think of Him.

Lipstick Jungle

2008-11-15T19:04:00.000-08:00

One of my new favorite shows has been canceled....I LOVE Lipstick Jungle!! I am in mourning! In a conversation with Butchy the other day I told her that the problem with the show is that it's on the wrong network. It should have been on ABC. It's too hip and female-oriented for NBC. NBC is for boring guy shows....I mean look at their piece of crap Knight Rider. I watched the first episode of that crap show and couldn't even begin to think about watching another one....it reminded me of Pamela Anderson's VIP show. It is so obviously filmed in Canada and the script is horrible! They have awesome toys and technology.....but there's no substance. I was hoping for edgy and got soft and soggy. YUCK!

I digress....I want my Lipstick Jungle!!! I love the characters and want to know more about them! They are like a book that I don't want to put down....what happens next? Will Victory "woman up" and tell Joe she loves him? Will Wendy start her own company or accept the job offer from Nico's friend? Will Nico figure out what her issue with Kirby is? They better not leave us hanging!

How does a gal go about protesting this cancellation? I wanna write a letter of complaint to someone....who would that be?

British Invasion?!?

2008-09-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

I'm getting very confused....when did the British win the war? Which war did they win? Did I miss the memo?!?!?

The reason I ask is because American Idol has a Brit on the judging panel....I never have understood why a Brit has anything to do with judging AMERICAN Idol. I don't care that the show originated in England....is there an American judge on their Pop Idol show?!? Are there no assholes in America that can do what Simon Cowell does?

Then there's America's Got Talent....that has 2 Brits and one Hoff (who is HUGE in Germany. But his career in America is basically dead, brain dead & on life support from what I hear). But, back to the 2 Brits.....why are the British deciding who has talent in AMERICA?!? See why I'm confused? Then today I read that Ricky Gervais...another guy from the other side of the pond...is being considered as host of this year's Oscars! What's up with that?!? Are we running out of American talent? Is there absolutely NO ONE from America capable of hosting the Oscars?

Where's Paul Revere when we need him?

Don't Forget to Remember Me

2008-07-27T00:13:00.000-07:00

My Mama is "losing chunks of memory." She has been diagnosed with something I'm not sure how to spell...vaso-something....Mom said it basically means there's a blockage in the back of her neck and she's not getting enough oxygen to her brain. But....but. I detest the word but. But, her doctor is also thinking she may be experiencing numerous T.I.A.s.....mini strokes. Mom explains that when she has an "episode" the left side of her face and mouth get "tingly" & maybe a day after having an episode she realizes a chunk of her memory is gone. "Just poof! Gone." Not too long ago she forgot my birth date.

My Mom and I have a bond that is indescribable. We are psychically bound. There is really no way for me to fully explain how tightly knit my Mama & I are. I never had a security blanket....I had my Mama. She has been my sanity...my laughter....my music....before I loved Butchy my Mama was the only one that I had ever loved with the depths of my soul. In her eyes I am incredible. I am beautiful. I am brilliant. She loves me with no conditions, no strings, no reservation. She says that I am her heart....she gave me mine. My heart was knit together in her womb. Because of her I live....because of her I breathe....because of her I know love....because of her I am me. I am her firstborn. She was shocked when she found out she had given birth to a girl....she didn't feel worthy. She had always wanted a girl, but figured it was too much to hope for. I am my Mom's jackpot. She forgot my birth date.

She has symptoms similar to Alzheimers. Her mother died of complications due to Alzheimers. Years ago, we would visit my grandma in the nursing home in Butte, MT. We would walk into the room and Mom would have to introduce herself to her Mom by saying, "Mom, I'm Linnea. Your daughter." Grandma would respond like it was Christmas and she had just been given the ultimate gift....she had a daughter! Then Mom would introduce me, her first grandchild. That would overwhelm her...too much wonderfulness. She couldn't believe her luck.

Whether she has TIAs, dementia, Alzheimers, or whatever else....all we know is that Mama is forgetting. This may sound selfish....I don't care....I don't want to walk into the room and Mom not know who I am. The thought of her looking at me with no sign of recognition....no adoration....no love.....

Please, Mama...don't forget me.

Bunch of nuttin'

2008-07-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've blogged....no real reason. Just didn't feel like it, I guess.

Ya know how when things are going really good you don't want to ponder it too deeply, just in case you might jinx it? I think that's where I'm at right now....but, I firmly believe we create the world we live in....so I don't believe in no stinkin' jinxes! LOL

Here goes:
Job: LOVE my job!!! Love it, Love it, Love it! I'm an insurance agent. I service auto, home & mariner policies. If you want to know what comprehensive, collision &/or PIP are...I'm the gal to tell you all about it!

Commute: HATE my commute! Hate it, Hate it, Hate it! I drive 41 miles ONE WAY. Yes, that's 82 miles a day! What I pay in gas each month could feed a huge family in India for a decade.

Family: Everyone is in pretty good shape for the shape we're in. #1 Neice is about to turn 13 in Sept....I'm having huge issues with that! The youngest...she's 6....is missing her 2 front teeth and looking absolutely adorable. Butchy and I recently got together with her Dad & Stepmom...we had a wonderful time together. I really enjoyed spending time with them both! There is such a contrast between how they welcome & value me and how Butchy's Mom & Stepdad have completely shut me out. It's sad. Don't they see how they are hurting Butchy?

Relationship: Never in a million years could I have ever believed that Butchy and I would be as close as we are today. She is my other whole. The woman I fell in love with 7 years ago has transformed into the woman I adore today. We have a miraculous relationship. She is my very own blessing. I am so grateful for what we have gone through in the past...it brought us to where we are today. They say roses require a lot of shit to bloom perfectly.

Health: I've been dealing with health issues since my pulmonary embolism in Feb. I'm finally on an even keel. Thank all that's Holy!

I'm happy. This is a very good place to be.

I've been thinking.....

2008-04-12T00:22:00.000-07:00

Life is perceptions & opinions based on perceptions. That's my opinion. Facts can be presented to 2 people. For example a baby has been born with 2 faces on one little head. Here in America the baby at birth would have been kept in the hospital, x-rayed, poked, prodded, scrutinized by every specialist & labeled a freak with years of surgery in her future. But, in India where she was born, she's a goddess. A beautiful baby with 2 faces & no surgeries in her future. Makes me wonder if all of our scientific & technological advances have removed the human factor....who knows, maybe she is a goddess. Maybe we have goddesses born into our society every day and we never see them because they don't fit the mold. They don't match our standards for beauty and normalcy. Is surgery to attain normalcy a human right?

Over 400 women and children have been removed from a compound where there lives have been controlled by fear and abuse. This makes me sick to my stomach. We were aghast at the German townspeople near concentration camps....how could they sit back and do nothing? Now we have our own modern-day holocaust, right here in the good ol' USA. Right in the President's backyard! Doesn't he still claim to be from Texas? I am in no way saying the fault lies with the President, or even the government....in fact, I have no clue who's ultimately responsible for breeding & raising girls for a life of molestation, rape & abuse. My heart is so heavy for each and every woman & child. Everything they were raised to believe as truth....their foundations....the core of their beliefs.....shattered.

When my family and I returned from our years in the Philippines as missionaries I experienced life-threatening culture shock. Living in the Philippines and the years leading up to our moving there I was in a sheltered society. Nothing close to these women and children...but, to this day I'm still asked if I came from underneath a rock or if I was raised in a cave....my points of reference and my childhood memories were completely foreign to those I went to high school with here in the States. I was 16 when we returned to the States....I went from a sheltered Christian High School & home....to a world I couldn't comprehend. Swiftly I descended into a bottomless depression....I became suicidal. My mind & emotions could not catch up to all the changes.

The culture shock for these women....unimaginable....similar to taking a tribal person out of their village and plunking them down in the middle of Times Square. I wish there was something I could do....I hate feeling helpless.

In case you haven't heard.....

2008-02-12T16:16:00.000-08:00

Jan 26th I went into Group Health Urgent Care with a severe ear ache. I was diagnosed at that time with a sinus infection. Shortly before that visit I was noticing that when I would walk certain distances I would get winded. I figured, after the sinus infection diagnosis, that the shortness of breath was due to having a cold.

Over the next week I started becoming more concerned because the shortness of breath was worsening. Sun, Feb 3rd, it reached a crisis stage & after work I went back into Urgent Care....we got there around 7:30 pm. Butchy & I had figured that I had either developed pneumonia or my cold brought on asthma. I've never had asthma, but knew that it was possible for it to be brought on by a cold.

By the time I got to Urgent Care I was gasping for breath with no exertion....trying to breathe was causing me to gasp for air. I was being slowly suffocated. The Dr in UC, Dr Basale, ran a bunch of tests and while waiting for the lab & x-ray results he had me on oxygen. Even with the oxygen my blood/oxygen saturation level was only around 90, or so.

My room at UC was pretty close to the nurse's station....at one point Butchy & I heard a couple of them exclaiming about labs coming back with a 4,000....I started to panic, but calmed myself by telling myself that the lab result could have been for anyone. I wasn't the only one in UC that night. I decided not to worry, unless told otherwise.

Dr. Basale finally came in with the results around 10:30. All tests were indicating that I had a possible pulmonary embolism.....a clot in my lung. The D-Dimer test result was over 4300!!!....a normal reading is only 2 - 400!! That test indicated the possibility of a clot...but it's not a specific test so more tests would have to be run to figure out where the exact location of the clot was & if it actually was a clot causing my breathing issues. Dr. Basale told me that I would be admitted to a hospital & then started me on a heparin drip.

Group Health could not find me a hospital bed in Tacoma, so I was sent by ambulance to Group Health's hospital in Redmond....an hour away (with no traffic). I was NOT happy to be so far away from home and family!!

5 am I finally got settled into my room....I was beyond exhausted. Rest was not to be had on Monday....after a zillion tests & being poked and prodded like a pin cushion.....it was determined that I have a small clot in my right lung. Heparin would keep it from getting bigger, but as far as the clot itself: the body would absorb it over time.....also, my breathing would get better as my body adjusted to the clot. As the clot grew my body could not adjust....with the growth stopped my body would bore a hole through the clot allowing me to breathe even better.

My main concern was not being sent home until I could breathe....the Drs main concern was my blood clotting levels...INR, as they call 'em. I started at .9 and had to be at 2 before I could go home. Finally on Fri I was at 2.1....I couldn't wait to go home! My breathing was markedly improved on Weds & each day it got better and better.....I was getting cabin fever in my hospital room. I was on the telemetry unit (I referred to my telly-box as my telly-tubby box)....the nurses weren't used to caring for someone my age. I would get such accolades for being able to roll over in bed & with how sturdy I was walking! It would crack Butchy & I up constantly....I would get compliments for walking from the bed to the potty. YAY ME!! LOL

I was discharged and sent on my way around 3:15 on Fri....yep....discharged during rush hour! grrrrrrrr After 4 hours...yes, 4 HOURSSSSSSS....we finally got home! I was a whiney-miserable-mess! Butchy was absolutely wonderful to me. She has been amazing throughout this whole ordeal. I am beyond blessed to have her in my life. She takes very good care of me.

It is so good to be home! I still get winded, but nothing like I was dealing with before. I just have to be careful not to push myself. The clot is going to heal in its own time...not the timeframe I would prefer. The Drs said it will probably be 5-8 weeks before I'm breathing normally. I'll be on coumadin (blood thinner) for 6 months....and I've been taken off birth-control pills.

Birth-control pills have kept me from having a period for the last 7 years....I was on Depo for 6 & the pills for the last year....my periods are nightmares. I have homicidal pms & then cramps that compare to the end stage of childbirth. The pills are being blamed as the culprit for causing my blood clot.....nothing is definite....they couldn't find where the clot came from nor what caused it. Since the pill is known for causing clots I have been taken off the pill indefinitely. My Dr is now looking into other avenues to stop my periods. Until they stop, I will have aggressive pain management. I can't take ibuprofen anymore....so, now I'm on lortab (7.5/500)...it's a stronger version of hydrocodone without additional acetaminophen (tylenol). I've also been prescribed "bufferin"....it's got a super long name, but it's similar to Bufferin, according to the Doc I saw yesterday.....it's not known to cause bleeding like ibuprofen is. Hopefully bufferin and lortab will keep me relatively pain-free during my next period. The period I started in the hospital was horrible...I only had hydrocodone (5/500)....that took off the edge, but I was still in a lot of pain. I found it ironic that I left the hospital in tons more pain then when I went in! I HATE periods!! I'm hoping that I will be allowed to get a hysterectomy in 6+ months....probably can't get one until I'm off coumadin.

It's going to take me a while to recover...but, I'm doing MUCH better than I was....I'm not in any danger of throwing another clot in the next 6 months....we'll see what happens after that. I'm not going to worry about it now, though. Today life is good!

So, there ya have it....that's what's going on with me! I'm worn out from typing this up....it's nap time! LOL

Addition..Correction...& Extreme Butt Sniffing

2007-12-24T13:40:00.000-08:00

Beings of the Universe allow me introduce to you

the newest member of our family.....

Gizmo!

He's not too sure about his new cagemate. Rooney has never been taught how to make friends & influence piglets in a courteous manner....just in his own piglet manner which involves a lot of rubbing against Gizmo while circling him & then shoving his nose up Gizmo's patoot. Gizmo is NOT impressed. He wants to go back to the nurturing environment he was in with his Mama....he doesn't wanna be a big pig. Rooney is pretty excited about the new addition....he's very enthusiastic in his "affections."

And now the correction.....

Baby Bear and BJ are no longer males....they are now females....which explains the mental behavior we were seeing in Baby Bear. She's not mental...she's female! LOL The change in gender has not come as a surprise to the piglets...just to their Moms. We are so thankful that we never introduced them to Rooney! I'm sure he would have enjoyed them immensely!

It's a Boy! & another Boy! & another Boy!

2007-12-13T18:15:00.000-08:00

Meet our Boys! We have suddenly become piggy farmers...none of these piggies will be going to market, though!
Blonde boy is Rooney....he's ready for his close up & is quite the hilarious character. He loves giving kisses & cuddles....he's very vocal & curious.

Our 2 black-wild-haired boys are BJ & Baby Bear....BJ is short for Bear Junior...both are named in honor of our Bear Bear that went to heaven earlier this year. They are skittish-scaredy-pigs.....they obviously weren't handled very much by their previous parents.

Baby Bear...he's smaller than his brother BJ & he's a "brown noser"...that's the only way we can tell them apart! He's needing lots of love & affection....he'd rather live in his pigloo....when he's hungry he drags the pigloo over to the food bowl....we have to remove the pigloo

during the day so that we can socialize him.

This is BJ...he's bigger and calmer than his little brother....still not as sociable as Rooney, but with lots of love and attention I'm sure he'll become an attention-whore, too.

Ok!

2007-11-13T14:16:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite Bluds (bloggin' buds) is demanding to know everything that's going on....she's got quite the inquiring mind! For my dear Burfica I will attempt to forge ahead & give a brief synopsis on all that is/was going on.

There's no order of priority here....just as it comes to mind:

Butchy & I: We're back together and doing better than I could have ever imagined. We're in a REALLY good place & are trudging through past shit all while enjoying each other in the present. That's quite the feat!

Family: I'm loving being an Auntie, Sisser (that's not a misspelling) & Daughter! This is the first time in my adult life that I have lived in the same town as my family. It is rather odd being called, "Kathy"....I'm adjusting. Friends & coworkers still call me, "Kat." I've learned something surprising...my schedule is no longer my own...it is now only mine when the family doesn't have plans for me....I do love being from a close-knit family....really I DO! But there is a dark side....not an evil dark side....just your regular run-of-the-mill dark side. Close-knit families may live in separate dwellings....but the truth is that each separate dwelling is simply another room to a great big house. My room is the kid-crashing-movie-watching-pizza-eating room....I'm still figuring out the other rooms....I know my Mom's room is the strict-well-behaved-live-by-Mom's-rules room (not a very fun room to be in!)....my brother's is kind of a mish-mash...everything-said-at-top-volume-with-oodles-of-energy....this is what happens when 4 girls 12 years old & younger are all trying to be heard....AT THE SAME TIME!...by me. Fun, fun, fun.

I have to post this now or it will be sitting as a draft in my box for another couple of days.....I'll get more specific in the future!

Too Much!

2007-11-12T17:53:00.000-08:00

I hate times like this! There's sooooo much for me to talk about that I don't even know where to start....then I get overwhelmed & think to myself, "self, take it one bit at a time"....I, then , figure that it takes time to formulate my thoughts...then I get distracted by dust in the air (why does it look so pretty in sunlight & so horrid on my entertainment center?).....after all this, there's nothing more I can do than simply stop & eat chocolate. No, eating chocolate doesn't get a post written, but it sure makes me feel better about not posting! Can I just say that chocolate is the food of goddesses?!? Great, now this is becoming an ode to chocolate......not that chocolate can't use another ode, but....crap. I give up.

Here's everything I want to write about in a nutshell....hmmmmm....chocolate with nuts.....STOP! I can eat chocolate AFTER I've written my list! A F T

Hacking, Snorking & Sneezing, Oh My!

2007-10-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

It's, once again, time for my yearly cold....My voice sounds like my name is Madge & I've been smoking 2 packs a day for 40 years...I work in a greasy-spoon diner & if you're lucky my cigarette butt hasn't fallen into your greasy undercooked eggs! Also...my knee-hi stockings are now rolled around my ankles and my dirty slip is dangling below the hem of my uniform & the strap is limply grazing my elbow. I have sweat stains under my arms & my hair is dyed pure black...like my teeth....I have 2 kids that never come to see me & a husband named Herb that lives in his recliner smoking through his trach & eating through his stomach tube. Nasty throat cancer! I told him not to smoke menthols...I'm a camel gal myself! We have an old deaf & blind dog named goddamit...it's not really his name, but it's what everyone calls him...his real name has been lost in the smoke that continuously circles the stained ceiling that once was white and is now the color of fall leaves...burnt fall leaves. That's my story....

Does anyone else find it really odd that Costco sells caskets? I didn't intend to shop for caskets...I'm sick, but not THAT sick! At least, I hope not....hmmmm....I do have that pain in my right elbow....could be cancer...or a tumor...or something ending in -tigo, -emia, or -algia.....nah, it's more than likely arthritis. So, yeah, I was checking out Costco's website & blammo!! Caskets! Fer reeeal! I found the perfect little resting place for my Pud-Pud. Mama misses you, Puddy!

Man, what an odd post....cold, Madge, goddamit, Costco, caskets & my dead cat.....welcome to my life.

Inches Lost!

2007-10-22T18:13:00.001-07:00

<~~ This is me before.

<~~ And after! I lost oodles of inches....too bad they weren't off my chubby-bubby butt! No, I'm really not thrilled with my haircut. She didn't listen to a word I said when explaining how I wanted my hair cut! grrrrrrrr No more Great Clips for me!

Hopefully my hair will make a little boy or girl very happy....I have donated my hair to Locks of Love

Toothache Hell

2007-09-04T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have been a resident of Toothache Hell for quite awhile now, as posted previously. I have an update....on my last post Alekx & Burfy both commented that it could be sinuses....with my wonderful sinus history I had thought of that, as well. Sunday the pain got so bad that I ended up in Urgent Care....they x-rayed me. I'm pretty sure I glow in the dark from all the x-rays that I've had recently! It is now medically proven that the issue I'm having is with an abscessed tooth...not my sinuses. As I emailed to a friend of mine earlier: If I had a gun I'd now be reincarnated as a hemorrhoid on the ass of my Dentist! One way or another, I'll be a pain in his ass!

Pain

2007-08-31T21:51:00.000-07:00

I've been in toothache hell for the last 2 - 3 months...I had a tooth pulled to stop the pain...turns out it wasn't the tooth causing the intense pain. Yep...wrong tooth! I'm taking lots of drugs...if I want to be almost pain-free I have to take vicodin with a muscle relaxant and 1,000 mgs of ibuprofen...that lasts for almost a full hour...if I just take 1200 mgs of ibuprofen then it only lasts 1/2 hour...I have missed a lot of work because of the pain. My dental insurance starts tomorrow....everything up to now has been at my expense....almost $500! My Dentist can't figure out why I'm still in such extreme pain...they've taken lots of x-rays and can't see which tooth is the problem. One day the pain will be centered around the back molar...the next day it will be the tooth in front of the one that was extracted....all I know is that I'm in a lot of pain and it's getting really old! It's mind-numbing.

Torched

2007-08-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict."
The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.
"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Is he serious?!? Really?? He has no clue what he did to deserve being flambe'd? I don't speak Russian, but I have a Doctorate in Fed-up Female. Just reading the article pissed me off. Let's give him a couple of clues as to why his ex-wife would torch his crotch....# 1: your naked-stinky-hairy-ass is sitting on furniture that she will not be able to bring herself to sit on ever again...(I know I'm assuming, but it just makes sense)....# 2: You are divorced...do you really think your ex wants to see you naked EVER AGAIN?!?...# 3: She told you Irina & Olga were coming over for borscht & bagels and you refused to get your naked-stinky-hairy-ass out of the livingroom & watch the tv in your pig-sty of a bedroom....what other choice did she have? I bet this woman finds jail to be a vacation!

New Love

2007-07-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

I have a new love....the Vidalia Chop Wizard.

So far I've used it for onions & pickles...now,

thanks to Burfica, I'll be making egg salad with it.

The absolute bestest part about chopping vegies, etc with this wonder tool?

You get to slam it shut...what a great way to relieve stress!

They need to come up with more blades, though.

I want a slicer...guess I'll just have to invent one myself!

Terrorist Sea Planes

2007-07-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

I now work on the northern end of downtown Seattle. Right outside my window is the Space Needle framed by the beautiful Olympic mountains. Doesn't it sound incredible? It is! Except for one little thing....my back is to the window & my monitor faces the window...so I see the great view in a reflection on my monitor. The "little" problem is that between the building I work in and the Space Needle (which is technically around 8 blocks due west) is a flight path for the Sea Planes landing on Lake Union. All day long planes are flying by my window...one day I was in the middle of a call and a plane goes swooping by the window...suddenly I had the thought, "what if there's a psycho-terrorist in that plane!?!" That gave me the major heebie-jeebies...I literally shuddered! I comforted myself with the knowledge that Sea Planes are a lot flimsier than the jets used on 9/11...so if it is a terrorist: once the plane hits the window it'll be crumpled into a little ball and we can just throw it into the aluminum recycle bin. Please, don't tell me any differently another plane is coming in for a landing.....

Moving On

2007-07-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

Inspite of having to deal with another demonstration of my ex's cruelty & dishonesty, I am focusing on moving forward. Hate doesn't look good on me...it's just not my color! lol I'm not going to allow her to infect my new life. She is a disease & I am cured.

Now, if only the ex & her next would quit stalking my MySpace page & this blog...I guess this posting will add some spice to their obviously boring relationship. They can't even read my MySpace page, it's private. Yet, there they are everyday on the map of who has visited my page! 66.44.253.187 in Yadkinville, NC & 71.32.12.205 in Spokane...2 of my biggest fans! It's because of them and their total lack of morals that I even have a tracker on my pages! I only wish I knew about the tracker months ago it would have saved me a lot of time & trust. I'll tell you all about that in a future posting on MySpace. I don't want to give the stalking love-birds any reason to visit my blog in the future.

It's sad that they spend so much of their time thinking about me...I guess they both need to get over me. How weird is that? In an email next asked me if there was anything else I wanted to tell her about ex before she continued her relationship with ex...after seeing the depths of their depravity, there's not a damn thing I want to tell her...they both richly deserve each other. Class never works with trash, but 2 white trash uneducated liars...that's a relationship forged in hell.

Ok...that's enough trash-talking...I'm gonna wipe off the spatter & move on.

Fresh & New

2007-06-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

I am now a westsider. That's the catchy name I've made up for myself and all who live west of the mountains. This move has been really good for me. I'm physically and emotionally leaving the past behind & moving forward.

Before leaving Spokane I decided to leave all the hate & angst behind. A life with hate is a life controlled by hate. I'm tired of all the hate and anger. Me hating my ex does not benefit anyone...it just holds me captive & suffocates me. It also causes nasty heartburn! It is hard to keep my focus on letting go of the hate...especially when the computer bill arrives. But, it's a conscious choice that I must make to have any quality of life.

Something else I've been coming to terms with is that her evil is not my stupidity. She was upset that I didn't trust her...but, I trusted her enough to give her the means to screw me over. If I hadn't placed any trust in her she couldn't have done what she did. You don't give someone keys to your house if you don't trust them. It's important that I'm cautious in the future, but if I don't trust again....I won't love again.

Some of the steps I've taken to move on is: before I left Spokane I dropped the charges against her & I decided not to sue her. Yes, I would win the lawsuit & I was justified in pressing charges...but continuing down that road would only prolong getting her completely out of my life. Her no longer existing in my world is more important to me than getting back everything she stole. She didn't steal anything that's irreplacable...at least, not that I've yet discovered.

I'm taking the nearest exit off Hate Highway & dedicating myself to staying on Interstate Integrity. My integrity is intact...she couldn't steal that.

Dad Update

2007-04-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

Dad is scheduled to be moved to Tacoma General tomorrow. He'll be having his open heart surgery on Tues. The details of the surgery are not clear....we don't know exactly what they're doing.

I've posted news on my MySpace page about what I'm doing about my ex...you have to be a friend to be able to read it. Isn't it just f'n wonderful that on top of dealing with my Dad's health issues I also have to deal with my lying thieving ex?

My Daddy

2007-04-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

My Dad had a heart attack this morning. He's having open heart surgery tomorrow. He has a heart anomaly...he's one for the record books. Others with this same anomoly do not live past the age of 20...Daddy turns 65 next month.

Please send thoughts of light &/or prayers on his behalf.

Brewing

2007-04-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

There's some B I G news brewing....I'll explain in detail on my MySpace page Stay tuned! It's gonna be gooooood!

If you don't have MySpace leave a comment here & I'll fill you in on the B I G news once I can make it public.

The posts about my ex have been moved to MySpace...I can blog there without her snooping.

Bush 'n' Dick

2007-04-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

Britney, Oscar, TiVo & Stinky Laundry

2007-02-25T17:45:00.000-08:00

It's been a year since I posted....nothing to really say about that. Had a lot to write about, just didn't feel like writing. I'll catch y'all up on all my news, just not right now.

Right now, I'm all about Oscar. He's my kind of guy....tall, golden, silent & no penis. Who will he go home with? Who will be left Oscar-less? Will I remember anything from this year's show in a year? Let's see, who won last year?....Titanic? Yeah, I'm all out of answers.

I was just thinking how sucky would it be to be the first loser & you still have to sit through an infinite number of hours of lame presenters & windy thank you speeches. That's the ultimate loser....pity that guy.

Britney....the girl needs help. Not my help. Not your help. Somebody's help. She seems to be the new spokesperson for postpartum depression. Another reason I'll never be a mother.....I love my hair too much. Also, I wouldn't be thrashing a car with an umbrella....I'd probably do something silly & use my truck, instead.

TiVo....I'm sold. LOVE mine! I'm the newest TiVo Missionary.....you really should convert. Really.

Stinky Laundry....Not crying over spilt milk is pure bullshit....Milk spilt, towels used to clean it up stunk up my house & my laundry....I'm not really crying about it, more whining & groaning. I've run the laundry thru 3 times now.....I know tomato juice works on skunk, think it will work on rotten milk?

She's Aliiiiiiiive!

2006-01-07T21:33:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm alive! I'm also hella-lazy. Well, not lazy really......I've developed a ginormous aversion to being on the computer. Blame it on the job I still love almost as much as chocolate.

In the past couple months I've been getting myself in shape for the wheelchair olympics....no one can beat me in the Backwards Marathon. That's right....I'm the backassward queen! If you're ever at W*M in my area and see a big girl going around the store backwards in a big black wheelchair....protect your toes cuz I'm quite the roly-poly roller!

These past few weeks I've been rolling a little slower than usual....picked up the cold from hell. Of course, it couldn't stay just your normal run-of-the-mill average American cold....nooooooo.....it had to become something more. I'm now the proud owner of acute sinusitis. Trust me there's some serious buyer's remorse going on! After we filled my Dr in on my last bad sinus infection and how it blew out my eardrum she is so not fiddle-farting around with this one. She has me taking 2,000 mgs of antibiotics a day! Yes, girlfriends, I was sure to get a prescription for Diflucan at the same time.....I'm no dummy!

So, 2006 is here. Woo-frickin'-hoo. I'm so excited I could just hock a lung chunk. It's not like I'm not hocking lung chunks anyway.....but, I felt that would express my true emotions towards this newish year. Let me give you an idea why I'm not thrilled......I was born in 1966. You do the math.

Butchy has been heard to say that she's "pushing 40".....especially since she's quit smoking. (YAY Butchy!!! Way to go!) I'm not pushing 40....as I told Butchy last night....I'm climbing in 40's lap and getting naked! Yes, I'm having a teensy bit of angst turning 40....teensy as in, "OH MY GOD!!! NOOOOOOO!!! KILL ME NOW!!!" How's that for being refined and ladylike? LOL No one will ever confuse me for a southern belle.....ain't that a relief!?!

Update on my knee: I'm scheduled for an MRI, again, on Thursday, 1/12. My MRI saga is enough fodder for at least 2 whole posts.....I'll shove it all into one after my next MRI. Will I be blitzo'd enough? Do I have enough drugs? Do I need to add a shot of vodka to the drug cocktail? Will my knee be photo-ready? Will I survive this next MRI without the trauma from the last one? Will my ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder) from the last MRI be cured by Thurs? Will the MRI tech-weenie be allowed to live without a limp and with his manhood still intact? Check back...there will be oodles of spewing.

Thankful

2005-11-23T23:17:00.000-08:00

I have so much to be thankful for! For this year's Thanksgiving Resolutions I'm committing myself to an Attitude of Gratitude. No, I've never done Tgiving Res' before...it's a new tradition! So, to get me started on my new attitude here's the beginning of my list of grats:
In no particular order....just how they pop up in my head:

I'm grateful for.....
.....my family. Including: immediate {Butchy, & our fuzzies}, extended {my Parents, Bubba, his wonderful wife, Dawn & their 4 amazing little women, Butchy's loving Parents, my heart-sister Misty, my new heart-sister Jill, the Sister-Friends, work-associates, online buds, & anyone else I've adopted over the years who touch my heart}
.....my health. I've finally gotten my wheelchair! I'm back to work and loving how incredible my associates are to me. I can honestly say I love my job & my co-workers (at BofA they're called Associates). I may be a gimp....but, I'm pretty healthy.
..... my job/associates (see above)
.....Katrina. It brought my Bubba and his family home to Washington.
....chocolate....does that really need an explanation?

That's the beginning of my list......I'm feeling so thankful right now that I may just burst! I wonder if Ben & Jerry's Dave Matthews Band's Magic Brownie ice cream is a cure for bursting? This I must investigate.......

What's new with you?

2005-11-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

After spending the last 2 1/2 weeks on my ass, in bed, in the little dungeon we call home.....I HATE THAT QUESTION!! There's NOTHING new with me! Nada, zip, zero, nuttin', NOTHING!!! For something "new" I would have to leave my cell. Sure, I have big ol adventures heading to the potty a couple times a day....but, nothing NEW! Same kitties getting under foot, same rug that gets viciously attacked by one of those kitties leaving a huge "gonna kill me wrinkle," same worry: "Am I gonna make it to the potty in time?" The only thing that's different is how my knee is going to hurt on the way to and from the bathroom. Will it freeze up on me and require me to force it to do that popping thing that hurts so bad I wanna puke? Will it throb like it's been shattered into zillions of pieces? Will it be a deep ache or a shallow ache? Will I want to have my knee amputated by the time I make it back to bed, or will I be requestiing euthenasia instead?

Through all this Butchy has been very patient and wonderful. Sure, she gets cranky....but, if she didn't then I'd wonder who had invaded her body. Overall, though, she qualifies for sainthood. I'm working hard at not whining. That's the ONLY work I'm doing. It is pretty hard work....being trapped & crippled is not something I will ever be good at.

My wonderful HMO (I'm saying "wonderful" very facetiously & sarcastically & a whole bunch of other words that mean I don't mean what I'm saying) has finally approved me for a wheelchair! WOO HOO! Only problem is that the vendor they use to provide wheelchairs to their premium-payers SUCKS!!!! For a week they have had the referral....waiting for the approval. Approval arrives, Kat can go back to work....life is good, right?!? WRONG!!! They NEVER HAD THE WHEELCHAIR!!!! The wheelchair they were s'posedly delivering to me last Weds cuz I had said that I would pay for it and get reimbursed by my wonderful HMO. Then the vendor called and said, "Oops, we quoted you the wrong monthly rate, it's actually $100 more!" To which I said I couldn't afford that....isn't it funny how you can't afford much when you're not working?!? Friday, as soon as the HMO from Hell approved my wheelchair I called the vendor.....get that chair to me ASAP! Was told they would have it to me by lunchtime......2pm comes along and I get a phone call.....this is when I find out they DON'T HAVE the chair!!!! Isn't that some wonderful customer service?

So, now the SUCKY vendor has the chair "on order." Supposedly I'll have the chair on Tues or Weds.....this is only costing me an additional $400 in lost wages! I'm seriously considering having a chat with a lawyer.....

There is light at the end of the tunnel, though.....I'm pretty sure it's not a train....I should be back to work in the nearish future. I can't believe how much I miss my job! I miss leaving the house, being out in public, wearing clothes (as opposed to wearing my jammies all day).....I miss having an answer to "what's new with you?"

So, what's new with you?

Shaved Leg

2005-10-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

There is a rule in the universe that I am not allowed to get normal/typical/run-of-the-mill health problems. Nope...I'm only allowed to get weird/puzzling/odd health stuff. Like a year ago when I had allergies that turned into the sinus infection from hell which then had nowhere to go but out my eardrum. Even though my nose was open for business.....nope, had to blow the eardrum and ooze outta my head through my ear!

If my leg was shaved I would have a picture taken of what I'm dealing with now. Since my legs are part sasquatch you ain't gonna see it...you'll have to believe me and settle for my riveting description. I have, in Dr. Gleason's words a....hold on.....have to ask Butchy, I always call it the wrong thing.....infra-patellar-mass. What this means in my terms is a big ol fat swollen pillow below my left knee. To add to the conundrum that is my body....it's painful as all get out. The mass thing isn't painful....just the whole area to the left of it is painful to the touch and even when it's not being touched. It hurt so bad while the Dr was raising my pant leg that I pulled my pants down in front of him....I just don't do that, girls! I require yards of fabric, all medical personnel out of the room while the pants are lowering and won't allow them back in until I'm all covered up and tucked in....

The Doc is stumped, Butchy (who knows oodles about medical stuff and old people ailments....I'm almost 40 now, I qualify!) hasn't any idea....I haven't talked to my Mama yet....she's pretty in-the-know about health stuff....haven't gotten her diagnosis, yet. Yesterday was spent at the Dr...then getting an ultrasound on my "mass"...then waiting an hour for my x-rays. (The gal driving my wheelchair forgot to tell them I was waiting for my x-rays)

Oh, yeah. Wheelchair....I can barely walk on that leg. Painful to walk on....also painful when not walking on it. I finally broke down and went to the Doc cuz I was sleeping in about 1 hour increments....if that. This thing is really painful! I would wish it on my worst enemy....I'll have to check my files and see who that is.

We should be getting my test results back by this coming Weds.....I'll let y'all know what it is that has invaded my leg. Have any of y'all heard of anything like this? It's not in a joint....it's not water....there's no external sign of injury....in fact, the last time I injured this knee was last T-giving and, as far as I know, that healed up ages ago.

One very good thing about all this....the drugs! Love hydrocodone! If I keep typing it's gonna start sounding even more nonsensical than it already does....drugs are kicking in. Aaaaaahhhhhh.....off to la-la land.

I'll be pooping in no time!

2005-10-12T21:17:00.000-07:00

I'm what some would call anal....a tight ass...tightly wound....detail oriented...irritating as all get out...and some not-so-nice monikers. Basically what it all boils down to is this....if the checkbook doesn't balance I'm nutsoid. For more hours than I would care to add up today I have been obsessing over the checkbook. I have a background in auditing....that job was made for obsessed nuts like me. My situation today would make anyone nuts....yes, even you!

Here's the deal...I was reconciling my checkbook online. I was happily reconciling away when OMG!!...I was missing 2 transactions!!! 2...TWO!!!! as in more than one and less than three....T W O!!! My stomach instantly went into clench-mode...now that I think of it, so did my ass! I'm pretty sure I was suctioned to my seat. Ok...so 2 transactions appear online...but, not in my checkbook. They were for fast food restaurants....there's no doubt whatsoever that they're mine. If they were for a health club &/or a health food store that would be a completely different story.

Now here's the wonky part....these transactions were from early September. Lately we've been living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. What that means to those living above the poverty level is that come payday the checking account is very thin...absolutely anorexic....like maybe $10 in it, if we're lucky. Wonkily enough....I was never in the red! In fact, the only reason I chose to reconcile my checkbook today was because there was a $2 difference between what I said I had in the bank...and what the bank was saying. The bank said I had $2 more....now we all know that's just wrong! After spending hours and hours of trying to figure out how I didn't bounce any checks with 2 transactions totalling almost $24 missing from my check register.....I found heaven. I had a come-to-Jesus moment....I saw the light....The Hallelujah Chorus began playing in my mind....it was almost orgasmic...almost....The answer to this Agatha Christie worthy mystery? I had transferred $25 from savings to checking in early September and never wrote it down!! Do you hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing The Hallelujah Chorus??? Do you!?! I sure do!!

How do I spell relief?

T W E N T Y - F I V E D O L L A R S!!!!

Aaaaaahhhhh.....feel the unclenching begin......like the title for this post says....I'll be pooping in no time!

Crap & More Crap

2005-10-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard the news....I love my job! I'm not being facetious...or any other "tious"...I really do love my job. Don't go thinking that my fugly-plastic-ain't-ever-gonna-have-sex-again-glasses have suddenly developed rose colored lenses, they haven't. I'm quite aware that my job is not perfect. The job itself has lots of challenges....if it didn't I'd be bored outta my thick skull.

I have to be reeeeeeallllyyyyyy careful what I say here. Being Dooced is not on my list of things to do before I die. Someday I'll share my list with y'all.....after I've actually written it down, of course. Anyway....my job....after I was out of training and OJT (that's when you're on "the floor" taking calls with a babysitter [they call them trainers & floor-walkers] looking over your shoulder making sure you aren't giving Mr. Big Spender/Little Bill Payer a $50,000 credit limit increase)....so, out of OJT I started seeing a gal around that looked familiar to me. I couldn't place where I knew her from.....until.....until the day she stopped by my cubie to talk to me about this HUGE ASS BOO BOO I'd been making for like....well.....ever since they allowed me to talk to someone on the phone that wasn't a bank associate. We're talking about balance transfers here, people. Yeah....got a call from a really nice guy questioning why the bank was sending him a letter saying, "You can't transfer one BofA product to another BofA product".....he went on to ask if BofA had merged with Wells Fargo.....nope, we sure haven't! With much disgust I hunted through the notes to discover who would mess up such a simple thing as a balance transfer......you got it....ME!!! Holy Mother Pheasant Plucker! Talk about a dumbass! After realizing my error.....well, after being shown the error of my ways by our faithful babysitters.....I sent an email to my manager telling her about the dummy they hired. She cautioned me that I would be continuously "coached" on this. Coaching is actually pretty cool....it's all about learning from your mistakes. So....this gal that looks familiar to me is "coaching" me. She's like the 3rd one in 2 days.....when I make a mistake, I make a DOOZY!!! But, let me just say in my defense.....I'm consistent! So....she's "coaching" and I'm sitting there trying to figure out where I know this gal from.....BAM!!! It hits me......I met her and her brother when they started coming out to the gay bars in town years and years and ages ago.

My eyes must have shown that I was so not listening to her....I broke into her "spiel" and asked her if she had a brother. Yep...she does. I then reminded her that we knew each other back in the day. Back in the day when she was pretending to be gay....you heard me...she was PRETENDING to be gay so that she would fit in at the gay bars! Also....she stole from me. Yes....again, you heard me correctly....she STOLE from me. She worked at a film processing store....I went on a weekend get away with a good friend....a good gay guy friend that she was wanting all to herself. So...he took my film into her place to be processed and she kept it all. All 4 rolls. She told him to tell me that they were ruined....him being the catty queen that he was told me the truth.....I think he wanted to see the Wrath of Kat descend upon her blonde vacant head.

Not only is she a co-worker....she's a manager! I think she's remembering that we did not part company on good terms....she pretty much avoids me. I'm not complaining....I have NO use for thieves. Steal from me and there's NO second chances. Nada...zip....zero...uh-uh...No way! Bye bye.

Ok...that's it for this story....I'm over it and her.

C-y'all next week! I'll be on vacation...you'll probably hearing lots from me!

Jordan is SAFE!!!

2005-09-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

Kim's newest post tells us the good news. YAY!!!

Child in Danger!

2005-09-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

Read this on Kim's blog.....Now you MUST read it, too!!

No messin' around...get your ass over there and let's do what we can to find Kim's grand baby!

I'm Alive....I think!

2005-09-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

I just posted a long ass post over on the Yay-Yays....rather than reposting it here....just click here and you can catch up on my news.

So, I'm alive....tired....and at the moment starving. Thursdays will probably be the best day for me to post and catch up on all y'alls posts on your blogs. So, mark your calendars to stop by here on Thursdays.....I'm sure you won't want to miss out on any of my exciting news. Hey! We can dream....can't we?

Stupid Bastard!

2005-09-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

I don't know if Scott will think this is a good post, or not....and really, I'm too tired to give a rat's bum. But, I do have a sense of "duty" when it comes to keeping my bluds informed, entertained, and a tad less bored with the mundaneness we all call life. (Is mundaneness even a word? Who really cares?)

So, I'm slowly reading Kim's latest post....it's hard to focus on a computer screen after staring at one 8 hours a day for the last zillion days......anyway, as I'm reading her post she reminded me of my 4 year break from sanity....aka: my relationship with my ex.

This man has to be the stupidest person on the planet....even if he did think the planet's name was World. There are soooo many stupid ex stories that come bubbling up from the depths of my bowels as I start thinking about the depths of his stupidity....maybe I should go poop before I get impacted. I'm too tired to poop....unless someone wants to do the grunting and pushing for me.....I didn't think so. Y'all are just a bunch of clear bowel friends, aren't ya!?!?

Back to the ex. My ex loved hurting himself. For real, not a joke. He didn't enjoy the pain, just the bandages. A cast was the ultimate for him...good times! This stupid asshat would limp when he had a bandage or a cast....and I'm not talking about on his legs or feet...nope...he limped when he slugged the wall and broke his pinkie! You would have thought he broke his ankle the way he was limping around! What a moron. He limped into work with his hand in a cast and as people would ask him what happened he would tell them he hit the wall....they would wait to hear what happened to his leg and the story was already long over.......they just looked at him blankly....realizing what I already knew: if stupidity was a sport....he'd be a gold-medal wearing olympian! Every judge would give the waste-of-oxygen an 11!

Extreme Stupidity....I wouldn't be one bit surprised to read that as his diagnosis on a medical chart. Talk about a dumb ass!

Giggles Needed!!

2005-09-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

Life has been such a bowl of cherry pits this week. My cure for the pits? Laughter! Ok, to be 100% honest...laughter while snarfing on major amounts of chocolate. For those of you who are highly concerned about my well-being: I'm well stocked with chocolate. My laughter-barrel is dry with a nasty echo.

In my email I received a funny from one of my funniest friends.....Of course, I have to share it with y'all!

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiartry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass, while he is on fire.
Further studies are expected.

That gave me about a 1/2 minute chuckle....I still have 23 hours & 59 minutes to fill. HELP!!!

Fly Away

2005-09-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

Tibby Bird flew home to heaven around 12:10 this afternoon. He allowed me the honor of holding him while he passed away....his broken wing is no longer keeping him earthbound. I sang, "Someday I'll Fly Away" as he tried on his angel wings. I'm so thankful that I was here with him when he died. I usually leave for work at noon....as I passed his cage he was laying on his left side. I held him in his na-night towel & rubbed his little head....His eye is on the sparrow, I'm just grateful that He allowed me the privilege of loving little Tibby. See you over the rainbow bridge Tib-Tib.

& they just keep falling!

2005-08-23T22:44:00.000-07:00

Showers of blessings, that is!

I was all geared up to go into work and talk to my "Trainer" about my need for more hours. A gal can't live on part time....not without being married to Bill Gates...and since he's not really my type...being male and all.....well, anyway....I need more hours at work. So...all geared up....go to work....first thing, we have a manager stop by offering more hours! WOO HOO!!! They are now doing all they can to get me 40 hours....how cool is that?!?!?! Oh yeah...this girl is sooooo blessed!

Tonight was my first night taking calls.....if you were the gal that called and while on hold waiting for me to come back with a brilliant answer to your question you got hung up on....I am soooooo sorry!!!! Please don't take it personally...I'm new, I'm a dork, I'm not used to all the button and flashing lights....that pretty much explains it all. I feel sorry for anyone that ends up with me answering their call....they'll get the answer to their question....eventually. As long as they don't get hung up on.......

I am blessed....

2005-08-18T00:16:00.000-07:00

I have a job I love that will only get better....once I'm out of training.
I'm making $1.00 more an hour than I was originally told. (I love shift differentials!)
I'm snarfing on red licorice while I write this.
All of the members of my immediate family are alive and well.
I have friends that I adore and they seem to like me a lot, too.
Whenever I need a hug, one is always available from someone I love.
I'm in the middle of 3 really good books.
My broken foot is feeling MUCH better.
I enjoy 80% of my training classmates. (there's 10 of us)
I dearly love each of our fuzzy/feathery babies.
Butchy makes dinner for me every night when I get home from work. (there's some spoiled Kat for you, Burfy!)
Butchy does the laundry and everything else around here....my only chore is cleaning Tibby's cage. (I know, I'm spoiled rotten!)
I have met a heart-friend at work. We were both in the same group interview. She's a lifer.
I have met heart-friends online through blogging.

I am blessed. I am thankful. I am gonna eat chocolate and ponder my blessings.

Celebs Who Blog

2005-08-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not in a blogging mood tonight....so in the interest of doing my part for Blogland, here's a list of a bunch of Celebrity Blogs you can go visit:

Barbra Streisand

Rosie O'Donnell

Bruce Willis

Pamela Anderson

Al Roker

George Takei....
Sulu from Star Trek

Jeff Bridges

Tom Green

Adam Sandler

Alton Brown...
Food Network Chef Dude

Dave Barry

Zach Braff

That should be enough to keep y'all busy! I tried to only include blogs/diaries...no websites with crap for sell or memberships to join.

Tag, I'm NOT it!!! I'm NOT, I'm NOT, I'm NOT!!

2005-08-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

Let me just state for the record: I hate being tagged! HATE IT!! I love the people who tag me, most of them anyway....I just hate the tag/meme/wtf ever.....I may be a hypocrite cuz I love reading others' answers, I just hate answering them myself.

So...why all this venom? I've been tagged, of course. This time Burfy did it to me. I totally adore this woman...she's not only a sister-friend, but a heart-friend. I'm so proud of her accomplishements! She's just one incredibly incredible woman....truly, she is! TRULY!! Now shut up! (She's the only one arguing with that statement....Good thing her opinion on this is on my "Don't Give a Rat's Ass About" list!)

Because of my disdain for these taggies, and I have a piece of chocolate cake staring at me, and....I'm just lazy......I've already posted my answers to this meme awhile back when Queenie had the gall to tag me. So, go here, if you give a rat's ass on the 5 things I miss most from my childhood.

Feeling Informational

2005-08-14T00:13:00.000-07:00

I don't usually give a rat's ass about such things....but....I'm making an exception to my rat's ass rule.

Let me introduce you to mobiBlu...any ideas about what it is? Rather than do something irritating, like not telling you and making you guess...I'm just gonna come right out and tell you what this little 1 inch wonder is.

mobiBlue is an mp3 player! It holds 1 gig! For those that may not know a gig from a jig....a gig is approximately 10 hours of music! That's right, I said 10 hours!!

Not only is this little guy cute as a ladybug....it's pretty cheap, too! ($129.72) You don't even have to take a long ass trip to Japan/Taiwan/China/etc to buy it....just take a leisurely stroll down to your local Wal*Mart. Yep....WAL*MART!! If your W*M doesn't carry it, there's some links in this here informational post to W*M's website. I'm sure they have plenty available there!
That takes care of my public service announcement for the month. I'm feeling so informational that I'm just gonna keep on giving it out.....I'm gonna eat some cake. Once the cake is nothing but a distant memory, I'm going to move my chubby-bubby butt over to the bed....take my na-night pills....play with Baby Boy....read some Harry Potter.....I may even use the potty.....then I'm going to sleep.

Anything else inquiring minds need to know?

Just Overheard

2005-08-13T01:12:00.000-07:00

"Tigger get out of his ass!"
"Tigger! He wants you out of his ass, now get out of it!"

Tell me we aren't a happenin' house! Don't tell James Dobson about this....he'll say it's proof that cats raised by gay moms are doomed to being gay. (Only if they're lucky!)

2005-08-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday,
Queenie!
Hope your day is full of
Love
Laughter
Chocolate
Hot Men
Hot Sex
Cool Sheets
blah
blah
blah
& whatever else floats your Navy boat!

Ooga Chucka, Baby!

2005-08-12T02:44:00.000-07:00

I'm in a very weird mood tonight....I've created a playlist on Winamp that's mental. All my "sides" must be insane.

The best lyrics every written? Ooga chucka ooga ooga ooga chucka ooga ooga ooga chucka.....oh yeah! I'm hooked on a feeling! High on something or other......probably all the Hershey almond mini-bars I've been snarfing on.

Sometimes I feel, I've got to * * run away, I've got to * * get away.....Oh! Tainted Love

(*means yer sposed to hit the table)

Mama's Loving It!

2005-08-11T12:43:00.000-07:00

I've come to a realization that my blog is pretty fluffy. I may share a irk, or 4...but, on the whole, my blog isn't really that informative when it comes to me. There aren't any interesting kid stories....probably cuz I don't have any interesting kids....or any kids at all, for that matter. My fuzzy kids have their own blog....so, I don't even have very many interesting kitty stories.

Day in and day out I ponder....I then subject all of you to reading my ponderings. Yes, y'all know about my new job....and about how much I love the company I'm working for. I still don't feel like I'm working....actually, I feel like I'm in school and getting paid to go! Oh yeah...it rocks! I know, I also subject y'all to my bunny-trails.....but, it's my blog and I'll hop down those trails as often as I desire....in truth: I have no control over it...I have issues, remember!?!

ANYWAY....I was reading someone's blog about how they ate at McDonald's. That got me to pondering.....it doesn't take much! My respect for Mickey D's has grown, and it has NOTHING to do with their food.

Mickey D's treats my Mama like the incredible woman that she is. Treat my Mama nice and I'll be your friend for life. My Mama is a hostess at Mickey D's. She loves her job and they treat her very well. My Mama is absolutely PERFECT for this job.....she has 2 passions in life (she actually has more than 2, but only 2 apply to this story).....Mama's 2 passions are visiting & puttering. She loves people. She's not a people person, per se. She's a people lover....she truly loves people. People are drawn to her because of the love that oozes out of her every pore. Even those really hard to love people find themselves softening around her. She is love incarnate. Paying her to visit is as crazy as paying me to eat chocolate...it's just not sane. But, they do...they pay her to visit...and not just visit...but to putter, too!

My Mama is the Putter Queen....she has to get up hours and hours before going anywhere simply because of her passion for puttering. Let me take you inside Mama's morning routine:

First stop...potty.
While using the potty she sees the toilet paper roll is getting low....a roll must be retrieved from the guest bathroom.
She finishes going potty and heads to the guest bathroom to get another roll of tp....
On the way to the guest bathroom she sees that Daddy left his shoes in front of his recliner
Picking up his shoes she takes them into the guest bedroom where Daddy keeps all his chaplain clothes (he goes on middle of the night calls. So that he doesn't wake Mama he dresses in the guest room)
In the guestroom she sees Daddy has left dirty socks & other items that need to be washed
Shoes are placed in their appropriate spot
Laundry is gathered and taken to the laundry room
In the laundry room she sees she now has enough for a full load and starts a load of laundry
Towels left in the dryer overnight are folded
Towels are taken to their cupboard in the bathroom....her bathroom....
Entering the bathroom she sees water spots on the mirror
Depositing the towels into their cupboard, Mama heads to the kitchen to get the glass cleaner
Daddy has left dishes in the sink without rinsing them
Mama washes up Daddy's dishes, realizes she's still in her nightgown, heads into the bedroom to get dressed
Daddy's sleeping so she takes her clothes into the bathroom so that she doesn't disturb him
Pulling her shirt over her head she sees the water spots on the mirror....again
Dressed she heads to the kitchen for the glass cleaner
While in the kitchen she gets breakfast started
Daddy gets up...does his potty thing...gets dressed....comes into the kitchen and pulls a coffee cup out of the cupboard...the phone rings, he goes to answer it
Mama sees a cup on the counter and puts it away
She miraculously remembers the glass cleaner and heads into the bathroom
Mirror sparkling, she returns the glass cleaner to the kitchen (I never understood why she didn't just keep it in the bathroom...it's the only room she uses it in on a regular basis!)
Daddy's off the phone and looking for the cup that he's positive he pulled out of the cupboard
Mama has forgotten about the cup and doesn't know what he's talking about
Daddy pulls down another cup and pours his morning coffee
Mama and Daddy sit down for breakfast

Mama forgot her tea....as she's preparing her tea she sees water on the counter and wipes that up before sitting back down at the table
Daddy gets up for a glass of milk
Mama removes his plate and rinses what's left on it into the garbage disposal
Daddy wasn't done eating.....he is now, though
Breakfast dishes washed she heads into the bathroom to "put on her face" and do her hair
While in the bathroom she needs to use the potty
Notices the tp roll is getting low.......

You get the picture.....

There's a saying floating around the universe that states: "Get a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life" This fits my Mama's job at McD's. Visiting, puttering, cleaning, handing out free little ice cream cones.....Mama's loving it!

?'s for Hets

2005-08-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

Saw this on Melody Ann's site...just HAD to borrow it!

HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

6. Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends and/or roommates know?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

9. Why do heterosexuals feel so compelled to introduce others to their lifestyle?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships between heterosexuals?

13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest of sexually transmitted disease. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?

14. How can you expect to become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel that (s)he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own orientation?

17. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you change if you really want to. Have you ever considered aversion therapy?

18. Would you want your child to be heterosexual, knowing the problems (s)he would face?

Don't ya just hate it?.....

2005-08-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

When.......

You enforce a rule that you didn't set and get attacked for it?
Someone says they can't hear you so you raise your voice and repeat what you said and now you're yelling at them?
You're asked if you understand a point someone has made, you state that you do, and they then repeat the whole "mini-lecture" because they're not sure that you really do.....and you had gotten it the first time?
People live as if the rules don't apply to them, only to others?
Someone asks you a question..but not to hear your answer...only to hear themselves answer it....so they talk over you the whole time you're trying to answer their question?
People talk with their mouths full....if what they have to say is so important, why don't they wait until you can understand what they're saying? A bonus is that if they wait until their mouth is empty then they aren't spitting their food on you!
Someone asks you a question and then tells you you're stupid to think that way?
People jump on someone's poop wagon, completely agreeing with their version of the story, without knowing the truth of the situation?

waaaaaaaa

2005-08-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know why this is, but I've been having some major issues with water retention lately. It could be due to the hot weather, my blood pressure, or both of them combined. All I know is that yesterday my feet were Michelin Man feet and hurt....BAD!!

So why the pookoo face? In a moment of brilliance last night I dropped a full 2 liter bottle of soda on my right puffy foot....the bottle landed upside down right below my pinky-toe....OWIE!!! I've got a big blue bruise now....at least the puffiness is gone. Water pills are my new best friend. Wait...I'm still puffy....but, that's only in the area with the bruise...I think I may have broken some of the little bones in there. I'm feeling very whiney at the moment, can you tell? LOL

Ode to Bank of America

2005-08-05T11:50:00.000-07:00

Since starting my new job I've been waiting for the "job part." You know, the part where you just have to grin and bear it. That hasn't happened...yet. I'm still in training so maybe it's too early to tell. But, for now.....I'm loving my job!

BofA has to be one of the absolute best employers on the planet! They realize the asset that their employees are and they treat us accordingly. Ever since I came out I have never felt "safe" at work. There was always someone who let it be known they were anti-gay and went out of their way to be vocal about it. The companies I worked for did nothing to promote a safe and comfortable workplace. BofA is on the opposite end of that spectrum.

When I went in for my Assessment I checked out the magazines on the table in the waiting area....other than big coffee table books about Washington, Montana & Idaho the only other reading material was current and back issues of Diversity, Inc. While waiting for the others to arrive I started studying the employees that walked by. I do this wherever I go...it tells you a lot about a company. In the midst of the stereotypical looking bankers were many chubbies (that right there made me more comfortable!), a tran (-vestite or -gender I don't know...I was just happy to see her and to see the acceptance surrounding her.), flamers, and a couple of women that were either "familly" or simply masculine-straight women. I was feeling right at home! I also noticed the varied ages....from kids right out of high school to folks past retirement age. What an incredibly diverse group of people! Simply watching the parade of folks heading home for the day or just arriving to work told me more about BofA than any pamphlet or video could have.

Attitude is another criteria I zone in on.....I really don't want to work somewhere full of tension and stress. The easy-going nature of the employees and the friendly ways they interacted put me at ease. Most of the folks I saw looked like they enjoyed each other and their jobs. After spending about 20 mins watching life at BofA, I knew I really wanted to work there. I wanted to be a part of what I had witnessed.

Every night when I walk into the front doors I'm thankful that I am a part of such an incredible company full of fun, caring, accepting, & diverse people. I am blessed.

Lord of the Rings The Return of the King...I think

2005-08-04T11:57:00.000-07:00

For those that advised me to see the 3rd installment...BITE ME!! I huffed and puffed through part 3 almost as much as part 2! Do they know that there was a book written by the same name with similar characters? There were so many areas that had me puffin' at my bangs I don't even want to get started!

To those that haven't read the books and thinks the movies are based on the books....READ THE BOOKS!!! Sure, there's a lot of similarities.....but, it's similarities such as between 2 unrelated men with dark hair who have never met and live on opposite sides of the globe, rather than identical twins. They ignored some of the best parts....there should have been a 4th movie...I know there's only 3 books, but if you're gonna massacre the trilogy because of time.....why not invent a 4th movie to go with all the crap you invented in the movie?

I'm glad I don't have to sit through anymore of that crap.....my stomach can't handle it. I may post about this again, after I've calmed down a little.....but then again, probably not....it's just not worth the energy.

Rantin' & Ravin'

2005-08-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously irked. Not the kind of irked that is going to cause an ulcer or find me "going postal." Irked as in "what is this poop?!?"

What's this all about? Lord of the Rings. That's right, LotR. The supposedly greatest movies in decades....what a load of hablooey!

After watching the first movie recently (on DVD) I was mildly impressed...I knew they would have to remove some of the storyline in the book, do some condensing and such....the first movie was pretty good. (I did miss Tom Bombadil, though.) The scenery, costumes, landscapes....all were incredible. The accents were hilarious....and who would have ever thought that Strider/Aragorn would have a nasal voice? Viggo looks the part, just don't let him open his mouth!

My mistake is that I've actually read the books....3 times! I'm pretty sure that whomever it is that wrote the screenplay read the cliff notes of the books and didn't actually read the books themselves. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

So, Fellowship of the Ring was pretty good.....Two Towers? SUCKED!!! They threw in shit that isn't in the book and threw out good shit that was! What the heck? They even changed the storyline! Frodo & Sam going to Gondor with Faramir? NEVER HAPPENED!! I'm starting to sound like those freaks that I make fun of. You know, the kind that dress up in costumes and go to conventions playing with light sabres....or their "beam me up" boxes....

I'm debating whether or not I'm going to watch The Return of the King.....that nasal whiney voice does a great job mimicking nails on a blackboard....if only he could just whisper or sign his lines.

I now feel the need to read the trilogy a 4th time just to wash the crap out of my head. I think I will watch the 3rd installment.....just so I can know what happened to the car after it got plowed into by the speeding train.

What did you say?!?

2005-07-31T17:05:00.000-07:00

As I've posted before I'm not big on cussing. The other night Butchy and I were having a conversation about this gal at my new job. She's.....uhmmm.....well.....she's a challenge. That works. I don't want to get dooced. When talking about her to Butchy I didn't have to censor my words....I was just letting the frustration flow. Towards the end of the conversation I summed up my feelings with, "she's just a futher-mucker!" My brain was saying something a little different. My mouth is obviously dyslexic.

Fired!

2005-07-28T21:24:00.000-07:00

I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'M FED UP WITH ALL THE CRAP! NO MORE!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I'M DONE!! HALOSCAN YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!!!

What a crappy comment proggie! It slows my blog's loading time down to forever and a day....it never displays the correct number of comments.....it catagorizes some of my favorite commenters as spam.....IT SUCKS!!!

I've gone through and saved all the comments that Haloscan was storing in its stupid holding tank to a Word document...there's some good stuff in those comments! Blogger is where I'm going to stay for my commenting needs.....I'm sooooo glad I didn't switch Yay-Yays to Haloscan! Did I mention that Haloscan sucks balut? (pronounced: ball-oot) It also sucks dirty ass....no link for that one....sorry for the visual.

Ok...over Haloscan...on to something that actually works.......

Nothing

2005-07-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love taking the time to open someone's blog...reading their most recent post....and having it be all about how they have nothing to say? Especially, when they go on and on and on about...well...nothing!?! Those are the best. I just LOVE reading about nothing. Didn't they make a show about nothing and call it Seinfeld? I know it was a big hit...but, I'm pretty sure that's cuz it was about a little more than nothing. Isn't a little more than nothing something?

I got nothing.

Job Update

2005-07-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

I GOT THE JOB!!!
WOO HOO!!!
YAY!!!
I'll be getting more details tomorrow.

Just that kind of day....

2005-07-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

Rachael, How could you?

2005-07-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

I'm so disappointed! I've been watching Rachael Ray on the Food Network...thought she was a cutie...a little too girly for my taste, but...she still had a Tomboy thing going for her, which kept my interest piqued. I made the mistake of clicking on a link in one of my Daily Blogations...this is what I found:

I know, you're as disappointed as I am! When Tomboys Go Girly.....it's just sad.

Long Hair & Spiders

2005-07-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

From reading the title y'all probably have a visual of a spider caught in long hair....and if you didn't before, I bet you do now! That's not at all the point of this post.

I have long hair...it's down to my butt. It's very thick...yet it doesn't look thick. Each hair strand is almost the same strength as dental floss....I have actually used my hair to floss my teeth, when I couldn't find any.

Here's where spiders come into it....having a lot of hair makes it difficult to keep track of every strand....they like to go off on their own sometimes. I cannot begin to count the number of times I've seen a hair out of the corner of my eye or had a strand tickle my arm and jumped outta my skin thinking it was a spider! When I started growing my hair out I was constantly jumping cuz I wasn't used to seeing my hair on my shoulder...now I'm jumping cuz I have spiders tickling my butt, the back of my arms, etc.....can you tell I HATE spiders?

So, you're wondering, "why is she posting about this now, right?" Cuz I had a spider walking down the back of my arm!! For once....meaning the very first time EVER....I thought, "oh, it's just my hair!" NOPE!! It was a spider!!! ACK!!!

Allergies & Heaving Infections

2005-07-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

From reading previous posts y'all know that I have seasonal allergies. In the past my allergies have triggered a sinus infection that became so severe it blew out my left eardrum. So, it's allergy season, again. woo hoo. I've been dealing with all the joys of sneezing, coughing, watery-itchy eyes....you know, all the stuff they make Visine &/or Nyquil for. I've been popping Zyrtec-D's like candy...when I remember I have them, I think memory loss is a result of having a head full of snot. Your head can either be full of wonderful memories, or snot...not both. My head has chosen snot, for reasons that are only obvious to my sinuses.

I had a Dr appt on Weds. In the midst of discussing my pit rash I bring up how my allergies are kicking my ass. Dr Jonna takes a look in my ears and throat....molests my lymph nodes and then has the audacity to press on my sinuses! Good thing I like her....I wanted to whap her a good one. That hurt!

Verdict: sinus infection....AGAIN!! Why can't I be like normal people with seasonal allergies and just get allergy symptoms instead of needing horse-pill-sized antibiotics? Don't get me started on the "fluid" in my ears.....grrrrrrr! At least, this time I didn't go a year saying it was "just allergies" and then have my eardrum blow. The girl is getting smarter and smarter.

This time around has been a little different, though. I have nausea like you wouldn't believe....Dr Jonna agreed with me that it is probably from all the post nasal shit (mine don't drip...it flows!). Are you nauseated now, too? Good! I don't want to heave alone.

Group Interview....also seen on Sister-Friends

2005-07-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

I'm NOT a fan of the group interview! Oh, the pressure! I'm an outgoing confident 38-year old woman....I was in this interview with 4 gals who are just out of High School and a gal who was around my age who told us that her weakness is allowing people to walk all over her. She was always the last one to answer....I started waiting her out so that she wouldn't always be the last one. I have this thing when I'm around spineless-wonders....I loan them my spine. They may not even want it, or for that matter even realize what I'm doing, but I try to bolster them. I'm big on protecting the underdog or speaking for those that have a hard time getting heard.

It wasn't planned, but I ended up sitting smack dab in the middle of these gals. I was directly across from the 2 managers that were interviewing us. They had us on one side of the long table while they faced us from the other side. I'm HUGE on eye contact in an interview setting, I think this kind of intimidated one of the managers. He kept averting his eyes whenever I was attempting make eye contact with him. I only strove for eye contact when I was answering one of their lame ass questions.

At the end of the interview they asked us if we had any questions for them....after a couple gals asked about topics they had already covered extensively, I asked how many positions they were filling. 15....I thought, "cool, there's 6 of us here," I knew they had already done another group interview with 6 earlier in the day....so 15 positions....12 interviewed so far...pretty good odds....then she had to add, "we've already filled 1/2." Great, now there's only 7 or 8 positions available and 12 potentials. Not so great odds....

After having a one-on-one interview, when I leave I usually know if I connected with the interviewer and had a good feeling about whether, or not, I got the job. You just don't get that at a group interview. It sucks!

I may not find out if I'm going to be "made an offer" until Tues....my tummy is already feeling the stress...along with my neck, head, shoulders, etc. Goddess, I wish I had a crystal ball!

Job Update

2005-07-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

So, this morning was my phone interview....basically it was Dixie (who works for an independent company out of Seattle that does all the hiring for BoA) telling me what the job required and seeing if I was still interested. I am, so she told me to be back out in b.f.e. (bum-flippin'-Egypt) for a 4:00 pm group interview. BoA is about 1/2 an hour away from where I live. I take Interstate 90 all the way there.

I've never been in a group interview before, so I asked her how it worked. I guess, a group of potential employees sits around a table interacting and answering questions. They are really BIG on teamwork and group stuff at this facility. I don't quite get it since it's an inbound call center...no sales involved...and you're on the phone for 99% of your shift. If you're on the phone with clients....where does the teamwork come into play? Are we gonna tackle a rival call center over who gets to take the calls? I just find that odd. I'm all for being a team player....I just don't get how that will enhance my experience answering stupid questions 8 hours a day.

So...group interview: 4pm It feels like it's 150 degrees out (in Spokane that translates to around 95.....it's a dry heat)....can I call in "hot?" I guess you shouldn't call in until after you have a job to call in to, huh?!? I swear one of those big pharmaceutical companies needs to come up with a pill that will drop body temps.....on a hot sweltering day you take a pill and it feels like it's a nice 70 degrees out, rather than 100. I bet that would sell even more than Viagra! Who wants a hard on...or to be near a hard on....in 100 degree heat? Not that I ever want to be near one.... Now those cooling pills....I'm all for that!

Passed!

2005-07-20T13:30:00.000-07:00

I got the news today I passed the assessment....now I'm waiting to hear back about when they want to set up the phone interview. I give good phone, so I'm not really stressin' over it. If I pass the phone interview, the next step is an in-person interview with one of the managers in the department I'd be working in. I'm not really stressin' about that, either. Heck! I'm not stressin' about nothin' at the moment. You'd think I found some valium underneath the couch cushion....nope, just chillin' like a villain. I am cranky, though. That could be because it's flippin' hot out and I was out driving with the rest of the crankies.....amazing how contagious the crankies are. I need a cranky-innoculation. I'd settle for a shot of vodka...too bad I'm not a drinker.

Job Interview

2005-07-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have a job assessment/interview with Bank of America tomorrow at 9:30am. Should be interesting.....now to get myself back into work mode. I'll have to wear something other than a T-shirt...my body may go into T-shirt withdrawals. Do ya think my allergies will cooperate? I know, prob'ly not.....I can hope though, can't I?

Death by Intolerance

2005-07-16T02:00:00.000-07:00

Found this article while surfing....it makes me sick. There are lifestyles that cause me to feel uncomfortable, but I'm not gonna kill a child just cuz they might grow up to be a right-wing fundamentalist. I have more common sense than that. This country is making me tired.

We have become what our forefathers were fleeing from! The history books say that the pilgrims came here for religious freedom....that's not completely true, but anyway....so we love to say that America is all about religious freedom. All that religious freedom means to most Americans is the right to discriminate! Our forefathers didn't want religion governing their new country...that was the problem they had with England. Now the religious right is governing our country....so where does the new generation of pilgrims go? Back to England?

Seen at Wal*Mart

2005-07-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

I spent some quality time in the potty at W*M tonight. While sitting on the potty wishing for graffiti on the walls so that I would have something to read, I noticed there was some writing on the plate that holds the slidey bar thing to the door....I had to lean forward so that I could read the etched print......

Yes, it says Hiny Hiders.
Now that's class!

I spent the rest of my time on the potty wishing I had brought my camera in with me.....then I started wondering how I would explain the flash going off in the stall....then I had to poop some more.....such is my life.

Dub's Dom

2005-07-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

I had a dream the other night I was making out with the President. It wasn't some gorgeous face on G Dubs body...nope it was him in all his redneckedness. Hey! Just cuz a guy wears a suit and lives in a big white house doesn't make him any less redneck! That boy is the King of All Rednecks....we, unfortunately, have to call him "President." Anyway...back to my dream.....

It started with me rubbing his shoulders. In my dream I was noticing how huge his shoulder pads were under his suit jacket. I started wondering if underneath the suit this guy was a scrawny little chicken-legged geek. He kept trying to pull me around in front of him and I kept moving away from him. He was continuously talking about how much he wanted to kiss me and I kept thinking, "I don't want that stupid mouth on me!" It was my hope that the SS guy outside the door would interrupt us with some kind of a national emergency. That didn't happen....where's a national emergency when you need one? So, G Dub keeps pawing at me....I then recall the days when I was living my life as a straightish woman...I knew to give a guy what he wants. It will only take about 5 minutes and the rest of the night is mine to do with what I want. It's the best way to get them off your ass. They're not whiney/pouty for not getting their way & you have peace and quiet for the rest of the night.....unless you come across one of those guys that has to talk about how manly he is and how good he is & blah blah blah. Nothing is worse than hearing a guy talk about how wonderful he is when it was a quickie and all you got out of it was a mess, a cramp in your thigh & rug burn. Yeah, really rocked my world, Speedy.

With that thought in mind, I did what I had to do to shut Dub's trap and get this ordeal over with. I thought I'd have a little fun and made him call me President Kat. I figured I'd tell him what to say and then I wouldn't have to hear his stupid babbling. Oh yeah, I dom'd the Prez...and it was good! He was my Bitch that night! Instead of giving him his way....he got mine! I rode him like a pony around the oval office, whipping his boxer'd ass.....he was wearing those sock suspenders on his scrawny chicken legs, too! I determined that if I had to be here "serving my country" then I was gonna give the SS one helluva show....I just hoped they could keep their laughter down.

After dom'ing Dub, like the bitch we know he is (I'm convinced Laura is a dominatrix!)...I made him get himself off. No way was I gonna touch the Prez's peenie! He was crying like a baby, thanking me for being such a patriot. Oh yeah, that's me...Ms Patriotic Dom. Thankfully, I woke up and it was only a nightmare. I'm still gay...and, he's still a redneck bitch.

Creative Cussing

2005-07-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not a cusserer. That doesn't mean I don't cuss....it means I don't cuss as part of my regular speech pattern. My every other word isn't a cuss word.....I save cussing for moments when I'm seriously pissed or hurt. Even in those moments I, in my creative genius style, endeavor to cuss creatively. I love making up cuss words!

One of my favorite cuss-phrases is "Holy Mother Pheasant Plucker!" It just sounds naughty. "Holy Mother of God!" Is another one of my faves. When I really wanna sound naughty "gadammofosumbtch" works just fine....I'm not really saying anything, but it sure sounds like it!

I was raised that cussing was a sign of a small mind living in a trailer park. People of class don't cuss. I wasn't allowed to say, "butt, cops, or oh God!" Yes, cops....my parents felt it was like calling them pigs.....that's changed over the years. But saying God's name in vain....no, that hasn't changed...that's as bad as, if not worse than, saying the f-word! So for years "good.....ness!" was my "oh, God!"

I'm sure I have a lot more phrases that I use as cuss-phrases, I just can't think of them right now.....I need chocolate.....must have chocolate.

Man Boobs

2005-07-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

I came across this article and thought, "they probably arrested him cuz the cops got turned on!" Someone needs to invent a Man-Bra....wait, wouldn't that be a sports bra? I'm surprised a guy with major man boobies would go out in public without a shirt on. What is the world coming to? What's next women with itty bitties taking off their shirts in public? Oh! The outrage!

Where are my binoculars when I need them?

New Blog

2005-07-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

There's a new blog in town! It's a blog for, about and by women. Inspired by the book Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, it is my goal to create a blog where friendships with other women are made and celebrated. Take a look at our blog and see if it's where you belong!

First comes the shock....

2005-07-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

There is an incredible essay I came across today in reaction to the bombings in London. It was written by Innocent Bystander. Please take the time to read it on his blog, or on my R, W & R page.

Funk Escape

2005-07-07T00:21:00.000-07:00

I'm pulling out of my funk. I've medicated myself with chocolate, Diet Coke & reading all my favorite blogs......let the party begin! Actually, I think I'm gonna go curl up in bed with my latest book and my Baby Boy....if he'll wake up from his nap long enough to move to the bed! LOL

Hugs, y'all!

Horrible Day

2005-07-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

I hate anniversaries. Not all anniversaries, just anniversaries of horrible events. Today is one of those type of anniversaries for me.

4 years ago today my cat, Baby Girl, was attacked by 2 dogs. Baby Girl had been mine for almost 5 years by this time. When I adopted her she was a skittish frightened little puff ball. She was born into a house full of monster-kids and parents who just didn't give a rip. As long as the monsters weren't bothering the adults....messing with their highs, buzzes & whatever else that was more important than raising well-behaved happy kids..... Part of not messing with the adults was terrorizing the kittens, Baby Girl included. I knew when I "rescued her from the pit of hell" that it would take a long time before she trusted me. In fact, I wasn't sure she ever would. That was ok with me, I just wanted her safe.

To say I was protective of her is a gross understatement. I wasn't a hovering suffocating kitty-mama.....I was just very aware of how she was treated by my friends & their children. If a friend allowed their child to chase &/or terrorize my BG (after I had made a request, or 10, for their child to leave her alone) the visit was cut short and they were not welcome in my home. That showed me they didn't respect me or my home. Bye-bye!

BG and I bonded....but it took about a year. She came to me, on her terms and I was fine with that. I earned her trust and she was won over by my love. She was my heart-kitty.

A neighbor rescued her from the 2 dogs. My ex had my car and refused to let me take her to the vet. I called my best friend, Misty. Misty arrived as fast as her little putt-putt car could get her to my place. On the way to the vet BG was in a 1/2 box....needing something to chew on she chose my eye glasses that were in the box next to her. I was in shock and didn't care about my glasses, Misty suggested I give her my leather wallet. Still not caring, I switched the glasses with my wallet. I still have those chewed on glasses and wallet. I was still wearing those glasses until recently when the ear piece broke.....I had many offers to buffer out the scratches, I never let anyone touch them.

The vet was wonderful with BG. There were no broken bones, but they wanted to keep her overnight. My fog was still far from lifting and I left BG at the vet's. This is one of the biggest regrets of my life. She was terrified. She needed to be with me. If I could turn back time, I would have taken her home with me.

Waiting for the vet's office to open the next morning was torture. I waited until 10 minutes after their opening hour and then called to check up on BG. The vet came on the line and told me that BG had died while they were examining her. Their best guess was that she had a heart attack. She was literally scared to death.

I should have brought her home with me. In my heart, I'm convinced that if I had she wouldn't have died. My only comfort is that she's no longer in any pain, she's free from fear and I will be with her again.

Now you know the biggest regret of my life.

"Lysol" ad...for Burfica

2005-07-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

For those that weren't able to read the wonders of douching with "Lysol".....here's the large print version.

"Lysol" ad...large print

PS: I realized after posting this that my personalizing it for Burfica might make it sound like I was hinting that she needed to use the product....that's sooooo not the case! Well, not as far as I know. She's in TX & I'm in WA....so there's really no way I could know that she needs to use the product. Unless, of course, her sister Alekx said anything to me....which she didn't. That would just be wrong! And mean, too! I just don't see Alekx being that kind of person....not that I know her very well, or anything. She could easily be exactly that type of person and I would never know. She sounds so nice on her blog....well...she did tell my other Bloggin' Buds "Ha Eat dirt folks..I'm at the top of the link list." Hmmmm....maybe she is an evil meanie. Well, even if she is a minion of Evil Emus she never said a word to me about Burf's hygeine. Therefore, I'm confident that Burf is fresh as a flower.......now, where was I going with all this?

Oh, right! To make a long explanation even longer: I was personalizing it for Burf cuz she's in TX on her sister Alekx's "stupid tiny ass computer" and wasn't able to read the ad. Did that clear up your confusion?

See no evil

2005-07-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

Do we really need to know this? Is this information really necessary for me to have? Will my life be better for knowing? Who really gives a crap about this? I can see it being information that a future lover would want to know....but ME? Do I NEED to know??? I DON'T THINK SO!!

Great, now I've got the heeby-jeebies!

Lysol Love-Quiz

2005-06-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

I saw this on another blog and thought, "I've GOT to share that with my Bloggin' Buds! It's a must!!!"

Click on it to enlarge....hopefully it will be large enough for you to be able to read all the tiny print.

"Lysol" up close

2005-06-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

WHY DOES SHE SPEND
THE EVENINGS ALONE?

A. Because she keeps her home immaculate, looks as preety as she can and really loves her husband, BUT she neglects that one essential...personal feminine hygiene.

Q. Is this really important to married happiness?

A. Wives often lose the precious air of romance, doctors say, for lack of the intimate daintiness ependent on effective douching. For this, look to reliable "Lysol" brand disinfectant.

Q. Is "Lysol" safe and gentle as well as effective?

A. Yes, the proved germicidal efficiency of "Lysol" requires only a small quantity in a proper solution to destroy germs and odors, give a fresh, clean, wholesome feeling, restore every woman's confidence in her power to please.

Q. How about homemade douching solutions, such as salt and soda?

A. They have no comparison with the scientific formula of "Lysol" which as proved efficiency in contact with organic matter.

ALWAYS USE "LYSOL" in the douche, to help give the assurance that comes with perfect grooming....confidence in "romance appeal."

Check these facts with your doctor

Many doctors recommend "Lysol," in the proper solution, for Feminine Hygiene, Non-caustic, gentle, "Lysol" is non-injurious to delicate membrane. Its clean, antispetic odor quickly disappears. Highly concentrated, "Lysol" is economical in solution. Follow easy directions for correct douching solution.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

I considered adding my own comments to this ad....then realized, my comments wouldn't add a damn thing! This is hilarious all on its own! As I was typing it out, I realized it sounds like it was written by the same guy that writes the directions on the back of the chopsticks wrapper at our favorite Chinese restaurant. You know English can't be the copywriter's first language.

Missing Link?

2005-06-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

I've gone through and updated my Bloggin' Buds links. They are now alphabetized....whoo hoo! Now that's some big news! The media will be alerted, of course. I've attempted to add the links of everyone who is a regular commenter....if I've missed you, please leave a comment letting me know. Linking to their blogs is the least I can do to thank them for taking the time to leave a comment on a regular basis....it also helps me visit their blogs on a regular basis. I wonder how many times I can say regular basis in a sentence on a regular basis? There's some fantabulous blogs on that list....your life will be seriously lacking if you don't check them out!

Tummy exiled, Al takes over

2005-06-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

War has been declared. In the early morning hours Tummy's tyranny was brought to a stuffy end and a new dictator has usurped the throne that governs Kat's body. Aller Gies is more evil than Tummy could have ever been. Moving her Army of Phlegm into position in Kat's head and the back of her throat, Aller has made her tyrannical presence known. She is currently attempting to cut off communication, all incoming messages are filtered to the point of nonexistance. That's right, the ears are plugged. Zyrtec-D has been notified of this occupation and is rallying to keep Aller Gies' from getting too comfortable. Updates will be given as this War on Kat continues.

This is Brian Brainy reporting live for KATSX. Good Night.

A Peeve, NOT the petting kind!

2005-06-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

Tummy be damned....I have something in my head that just has to come out. N O W!

So, it's like this: Butchy and I have some great friends, C & W. We love hanging out with them. We tend to have a hard time ending our visits. We absolutely adore those guys!

Now you're wondering what this post is about, right? There's one little niggling thing that drives me crazier than I already am. C has this "thing" when you're talking to him he tries to say the exact same thing that you're saying AS YOU'RE SAYING IT!?! It's like the last 2-3 words of your sentence....EVERY sentence! I'm sooo tempted to totally change what I'm planning on saying right at the last second, "So, my Dad is hanging from the stirrups, upside down & he starts to....do the can-can!" Echo that, Parrot Boy!

How does someone come up with a habit like that? Did he take the, "What I hear you saying is...." to the extreme and figure he'd cut out the question and just finish all your sentences....as you're attempting to finish them yourself? There are certain things in life I insist on finishing by myself...the paperwork after going potty, my chocolate, I'm sure there's a lot more things.....oh! can't forget this one: & ANY SENTENCE THAT I START!! Is this too much to ask?

We're Adjourned

2005-06-28T19:20:00.000-07:00

Numerous thunkers joined together and assisted me with my pondering. I'm not gonna pursue the freelance position with MS. They're nuts requiring someone to write 5-10 posts A DAY!! That's just craziness! The letter didn't specify how many days a week....so, you have to assume that it would be 7 days a week....that's 35-70 posts A WEEK!!!! That's insane. Be sure to take a moment and read all the words of wisdom I was presented with on that post....I have the bestest commenters!!

Well, that's it for my big post today. I'm in a losing battle with a headache & a tummy bug. The Tummy has made it perfectly clear to me that it is now dictating what I eat, whether I like it or not. There will be no "mmmm corndogs sounds good." Nope, that's the ears and the spit glands making the decision.....Tummy is a dictator. It says to me, with a facetious tone, "Go ahead, eat those cordogs. But, you WILL pay!!! hahahahahahahaha" As Tummy's evil laughter fades into the distance I realize I am now powerless against an evil wicked maniacal ruler. He rules with pain and gagging....they are pretty effective henchmen!

As far as my headache goes, I'm pretty sure it's a rebelling faction doing it's part to fight Tummy's tyranny. Or it's allergies, I think the faction sounds like a lot more fun!

Something I'm Pondering....

2005-06-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

This was pointed out to me on someone's blog recently:

Openings in Online Media
Company: Microsoft
Position: Bloggers Wanted
Location: Redmond, Telecommute

Description:

Blog for MSN! MSN is hiring freelance contributing editors to moderate, write and produce blogs in five topic areas: television, music, technology, sports and fashion//food//style. Contributing editors will be responsible for:

* Writing and producing five-10 daily posts for their blog, drawing material from user submissions, the MSN network and the wider Web *Reviewing user e-mail submissions and turning the best of them into posts on the blog *Monitoring blog comments and feedback

You must be passionate about your subject area; familiar with the tools and trends in blogging; a natural writer with an inviting, engaging style; and attuned to the broad interests of MSN's huge audience. Send us five sample posts written over the course of a single day. In addition to the posts (which should reflect a variety of source links), in a paragraph or so, explain why you selected those items and how they reflect your vision for this project. Please include a list of sites you scanned to find your material and other favorite sites and blogs. Attach a resume or short note to tell us what you're doing now and what you've done in the recent past. And finally, in the subject heading of the mail specify which blog you're applying for.

Initially I thought it was a scam. So, I went to the source. I sent MS an email and asked if it was for real. Today I received a response that it is for real! So......now' I'm pondering whether or not I want to do it. I can't imagine writing 5-10 posts A DAY!! The only topic I could really write about would be tv....unless they want someone who is clueless to write about the other topics....I don't see that being the case...even if it would be pretty entertaining!

What do y'all think? Am I "a natural writer with an inviting, engaging style?"

I Am the Champion!!!! Snort!

2005-06-25T00:07:00.000-07:00

I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won!!!!

YAY MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I am the champion OF THE WORLD!!! I know...it's not of the whole world....just the snorting world....or.....whatever. Quit pissin' on my parade and do the Happy Fat Kat Dance with me! Now shake that chubby bubby butt!

I wasn't able to attend the star-studded ceremony due to not being invited....but, I'm sure that ALL the big names were there singing my praises. Except for Tom Cruise, he's just icky now.

I'll keep my acceptance speech short:

I'd like to thank all the little....uhmmmm.....kitten asses & penis-slaves?! That made this award more than just a dream for me. It's now my reality. All those kitten farts and gasping-fish-peenies were worth it. It is my honor to accept the Queen of Ass Snort Award. As the winner, I will do my best to uphold my duties. Now, where's my f'n tiara & sash???

Here's my wonderful, expensive,
and gold-plated award:

Crock*Pot Pot Roast

2005-06-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited I could explode! I'm loving this new feature on Blogger. Not having to use Hello/Picasa anymore to upload pics will save me oodles of time. Not that I'm really short on time, but more time to eat chocolate and come up with quirky posts...I'm all for that!

Yesterday I made a pot roast in my Crock*Pot. I'm more used to whipping up pot roast and all the fixin's in my pressure cooker....with that in storage I was left to the ol' Crock*Pot. I was curious to see if there would be a noticeable difference in flavor between the 2.

After 10 hours on low the roast was close to falling apart and the veggies were still very firm....firm, as in uncooked. So, the meat stayed in the C*P and the veggies headed for the microwave. The 'tatoes went in first for 15 mins...the carrots followed shortly with about the same amount of time.

We made up a plate of meat scraps for BB....kept him out of our plates! We don't feed our babies "people food." But, after spending the day smelling the pot roast BB was ready to climb the walls. We put his dinner on his plate that we use for his wet food.....maybe he'll learn the difference between his plate and Mama's.

Dinner was a success! I was surprised that I didn't notice ANY difference between the C*P and the pressure cooker, as far as flavor goes. As for time....I'm sticking with my pressure cooker! 2 hrs with everything cooked, tender and beyond delicious vs 10 hours and then additional cooking times in the microwave.

Butchy doesn't agree with me. She said the flavors were "richer" with the C*P roast. It's been awhile since I've made a pressure cooker roast, she said her memory may not be that fresh. When we get our stuff out of storage I'll have to do a C*P/PC cook off.

Missing Michael

2005-06-23T23:32:00.000-07:00

Michael & Tracy

Occasionally over the course of the last few months I've found myself wondering how Michael J. Fox is doing. He seems like a friend I grew up with and haven't seen in ages. He irritated the heck out of me as Alex P. Keaton....that is until his future wife, Tracy Pollan, joined the show as Ellen and brought out Alex's soft gentle side. I fell in love with them to the tune of Billy Vera & the Beater's At This Moment.

I have enjoyed pretty much every show & movie that Michael has starred in. His roles have caused me to laugh and cry. I'm so sorry for him and his family that they are having to deal with the tragedy of Parkinson's. My heart goes out to him & his loved ones. My heart goes out to all of us who are being robbed of his wonderful talent. At this moment, I pray that he's happy, at peace & surrounded by love & laughter.

Having my cake and eating it ALL

2005-06-22T22:02:00.000-07:00

Those who visit me regularly....or even just once a month...knows that I have a "thing" for cake. I don't think that I've ever specified the kind of cake....chocolate, of course....but, I don't like just any cake. I'm extremely picky about my cake obsession.

Frosting is one of my least favorite cake toppings on the planet....so, my absolute favorite cake has just a little frosting drizzled across the top with some yummy chocolate shavings scattered atop the drizzles. So that you could enjoy my obsession along with me I've taken a picture of the BESTEST cake on the planet! It's the Triple Chocolate "Oh My God, I think I've died and gone to Heaven!" Creme cake from Wal*Mart. (the quote is mine...but, I'm sure you knew that.)

Baked Orgasm

My day in pictures

2005-06-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had this brilliant idea that I would take our camera with us as we headed out to dinner and then to do some major grocery shopping at W*M. I figured that to be a good blogger I needed to start documenting my life in film. God, my life is boring. Sorry. But, you still have to see the pics I took. (there are some new baby pics on Pryncess' Babies!)

Our first stop, KFC....Love their buffet!

Butchy with some finger lickin' chicken.
I wonder why they don't use that line anymore?

This is Kim...she's our favorite chicky chick.
She never charges us for the drinks we get with our buffet!
Woo Hoo!!!

Here's the absolute
BESTEST cashier at W*M!!
We had some trouble with our
debit card...Georgia was so patient with us as we
ran back and forth to the phone to figure out the problem.
(we ended up using up our cash....in case you were worried)
The people behind us in line were pretty cool, too. I didn't
get their pics. They simply reloaded their cart and went
over to a different line. No huge glares or nastiness.

So that was the extent of our day yesterday. See, it wasn't too painful! Great, now I have a craving for KFC chicken....too bad they're not open 24 hrs!

Kitten Ass vs Penises (or penes if you're a dork)

2005-06-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

Kittens are very focused on having their butts admired. Y'all know what I'm talking about....you have a kitten climbing all over you, more often than not, their butt is right there smack dab in your face.

"Love my butt! Smell my butt! Worship my butt! Wanna closer look?"

The little fuzzy darlings are all about their stinky butts. You may be lucky and get a few cute little head-rubbies....but, after that it's all kitten ass.

Staring into BB's ass...for the gazillionth time....I realized that it was reminding me of something. Something from my distant past.....niggling at the corners of my mind....there on the tip of my conehead....then like a warningless kitten fart (where's a foghorn when you need it?), it hit me!

In another lifetime I lived with a penis-owner. Or, to be more exact...I lived with a penis-slave. We often refer to these poor penis-submissive beings as men. The one I was with didn't quite reach manhood in the maturity department. He was 28 going on 10....that's in "man years"...in "woman years" that would be 28 going on 4. The "penis" still wet the bed for rubber sheet's sake! (alcoholics have all the fun)

So, what does kitten ass and penises have in common? They are both in your face...a lot! (if the penis-slave has his way) Think about it....men love to show off their teeny-peenies.

"Love my penis! Kiss my penis! Worship my penis! Wanna closer look?"

It's kind of cute in a kitten...but, in a man? I'm thinking, "not so much!" And what is it with that helicopter move they do?!?!? Are they really thinking that it's a turn-on for us to watch that thing flipping around like a fish out of water? Puhhhh...leeeeeze!

No wonder I'm gay.

Haloscan

2005-06-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

Beginning today I'm using Haloscan for my comments. This post is a test, as well as a notification. Because of the switch all of the comments have been wiped out...but, don't worry...I have them all in my gmail inbox! All of my comments are sent to my gmail account...I hope this is still the case now that I'm on Haloscan!

Inner Hours

2005-06-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

There's a new post on my Reading, Writing & Ruminations page. I realized that it's there that I express my serious side. It's early o'clock in the morning and time for me to head to bed.

Hugs to all those that take the time to not only read my quirky and serious posts, but to also comment. Your time is valuable to me and I hope that each one of you know that I am honored that you have spent some of your time with me today. Thank you.

Bored With the Old, In With the Cute

2005-06-17T22:43:00.000-07:00

Initially when I set out looking for a new look for my blog I wanted something serious and quirky all mixed together. I love Juno's new header....I think it's her fault I started becoming bored with my look. Her header is so classic and adult.....at first I was thinking I wanted something like that. But, after a reality check I realized this blog isn't about anything classic or being an adult....much to some bloggers' chagrin. This blog is about me.

When I began my blog its purpose was to release some of the pressure in my brain from all my held back thoughts & comments on life. This blog is my brain fart. My memory started going to pot and I figured I needed to make room. I was mentally impacted. My mind gets to ruminating on some off-the-wall topic and there's no room for remembering anything else. Therefore, I must blog!

As far as my look goes.....quirky may cover it....serious sure doesn't! I guess I'll have to leave the serious part for my posts.....let's see, I can do serious? Can't I? Maybe not.....even my serious side is quirky. I'm just seriously quirky! Ok, I can live with that. Like I really have a choice.

There's something that's been bothering me everytime I blog.....I use way too many exclamation points. See...I just used one there. You don't actually get to see it cuz I went back and changed it to a period. I do that A LOT!

To all those folks coming in from BlogExplosion to find out what is so great about my blog that makes it worthy of being #1 on the Top 50...if you figure it out let me know! If you only came in here to tear my blog to pieces....don't waste your time. My blog was not put on this planet to please everyone. Actually, it was only created to please me. The fact that I have come across some incredible people who actually enjoy visiting me is just a wonderful bonus in my life. If you are a braindead loser & choose to tear me apart anyway, I'll sic Butchy, Kimmy, Queenie & Burfica on your ass! They're tough, they can take you down. Yes, I could just take you down myself...but, see...I don't want to hog all the fun!

My Work

2005-06-16T07:08:00.000-07:00

I've been playing a lot with templates lately. Learning lots of interesting tidbits about html and the fine art of not pulling too much hair out at one time. It's been a painful, but rewarding process. I still have a lot of hair left in case I'm asked to do another project.

Instead of posting pics, you can go and see my work up close and personal-like. Other than the pages I've done for myself: Reading, Writing & Ruminations........... Pryncess' Babies

I've also completed: Butchy's Page.......La Femme and last night, Tony's

I'm sure Tony would love to hear what you think....he designed the header himself.

That's what I've been up to....templating, reaching the #1 spot on BlogExplosion's Top 50 and dealing with an icky sicky tummy. How about you?

I'm starting to notice that people are updating less, or just have less to say. I'm thinking we're all starting to get Summer Fever. Well...obviously I'm not....I always have too much to say and noone interested in hearing it. Good thing I talk to myself! Now, if only I can get myself to actually pay attention.........

I'm an artist!!

2005-06-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

Last night I was called an artist. I was called this in reference to the work I've done on Butchy's page and on the page I'm doing now for my new friend Tony. It crax'd me up.....only cuz I've never been able to draw a straight line to my satisfaction! But, thanks to the wonder that is computer graphics, etc...I'm now an artist. What is so cool about this is that I come from a family of artists. The kind that can actually draw, paint, etc. My Uncle was so good he actually sold lots of his paintings. My little brother is an amazing artist...his artwork brought big bucks to a very worthy cause in an auction. My Mom is an artist, as well. My Dad and I were not blessed with being able to draw anything recognizable. Sure, if folks wanted abstract to the nth degree....we'd be able to fill their order. My Dad would anyway....I'm too anal. If it doesn't look like I want it to look.....to the trash it goes.

My brother's masterpiece
He created this in honor of a school friend of his that died
due to a brain aneurysm during a High School football game
The auction was held to pay for Chad's medical & funeral expenses

One of my Uncle's works

My Mom's prizewinning creation
She designed this from scratch, no patterns whatsoever
She won 1st place at the county fair
YAY!! Mom!!

Guilty!

2005-06-13T19:31:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson is guilty! Guilty of being a freakazoid. For that there is NO CURE!

I was leaving a comment on a BChessman's blog and came up with a great line that everyone should begin using AT ONCE...."That makes about as much sense as Michael Jackson in a Titty Bar!" Isn't that a great line?!?! You know it is! Now spread it across the nation.

There are some new pics on Pryncess' Babies. Just in case you need your daily dose of adorability.

Tomorrow I'm going to apply for a "real job." This should prove interesting. I'll keep y'all updated.

Such a busy day!

2005-06-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

This being the weekend none of my Bloggin' Buds can come out to Blogland to play with me. There aren't any new posts to read.....so what's a girl to do? I've been playing all by myself! No, not WITH myself...just BY myself. Which is perfect nonsense, if ya really think about it! Not wanting to think aobut it, I'll just tell ya what I've been up to!

1. Created a photo blog for my adorably adorable babies! There's even a new link to the page in my sidebar. I have a post below all about it with a cool banner...that's right! I made a banner, too....so I could show off the new page. I'm feeling awfully proud of my header....you'll have to let me know what you think.

2. Made up a whole new template for Butchy's blog...it ROCKS!!! You'll have to pay her a visit and let her know what you think of her new digs.

3. Taken oodles and oodles of pictures of our babies....I really wish I had thought to get a pic of the ooey-gooey slug last night.

4. Updated my 100 Things...and added a new template and header!

5. Gave Tibby a "spritz."

6. I'm just gonna start making shit up now so that it looks like I've done more than I have.

7. Learned how to speak pig latin, in case I meet a Latin Pig.

8. Actually, as I'm sure y'all are aware...it takes hella time to make a new customized template! I made 6 headers for my Baby blog until I had the one I loved the most.

9. Screw this...I'm gonna go eat cake.

All About the Babies

2005-06-11T18:33:00.000-07:00

Baby Pics

I won't be boring anyone with any more pics of our babies on this page....
I now have a page dedicated to ONLY pics of our babies!!!
Enjoy!!

Ewwww...gag...dry heave....thanks, I think.

2005-06-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

Our Tiggy Boy sure loves his Mama! Now that my stomach has calmed down I can tell you about the "gift" he wanted me to enjoy, as much as he did. Man, I wish I had remembered we have our digital camera....a picture would be worth a zillion ewwww's and gags. Laying on my side of the bed...about where my ass usually is on a nightly basis....a slug. That's right, one of those slimey, ewwyy, gooey, if-I-don't-stop-now-I'm-gonna-dry-heave-again SLUG!!! He must have snagged it from under the window screen and knew that it would be perfect gift for his Mama. How do you say thanks to such a thoughtful gift?

My hero, Butchy, after refusing the paper towels I was trying to hand her in the midst of breaking a rib dry heaving.....bundled up the slug-slimed sheets and snuggle (a blanket I made) and headed for the bathroom. We didn't salt the slug....like all good Inland Northwesterners know to do....nope, she just flushed the turd. I mean, the slug. The sheets are sanitizing in the washing machine.

I must be the most loved kitty-Mama ever. I'm sure when the nausea wears off I'll be able to feel the love...just as long as it's not slimey I should be ok.

Abstaining from Restraint

2005-06-11T01:25:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize that restraint is for people with ugly kids, juvenile delinquents or crazies....since none of those categories fit me....I spit in restraints eye! Patoooie!

Here's some more pics of the cutest Baby Boy on the planet. No, this won't become one of those annoying kitten/babies/cute 'n' cuddly blogs....blech! Just shut up and ooh and ahh over my kitten and we'll go back to being quirky in the very near future. Promise.

His favorite place to be,
on Mama's ample chest

Don't hold me back!
I've got places to be &
danglies to attack!

Die camera strap, DIE!!

Pics as promised

2005-06-11T00:57:00.000-07:00

I won't bore you with an over abundance of pics...even though I so easily could! I've decided to practice restraint...they say practice makes perfect. Not that I really want to be perfect at restraint, now perfect at restraining.......well, that's a whole different kind of blog!

Here's the newest member
of our family:

Our go-jus blue-eyed Baby Boy

Here's our miracle bird:

Tibby, aka: God's Sparrow or
Tibby the Headbanger.
I will get a better pic tomorrow,
the lighting in our room sucks.

Tagged, Bagged, Nagged

2005-06-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by one of my favorite people in Blogland, Queenie. She will remain one of my favorite people, inspite of this....simply because she kicks ass and gives others all the necessary info so they can, too! Rock on, Sister-Queenie-Friend!

I'm just not in the mood to follow all the rules that accompany this tag....not today. Maybe the day after the day after the week after tomorrow....maybe. For now I'm just gonna give the first thought that came to mind when I read the meme-thingy:

Five Things I Miss From My Childhood:

1. Being able walk from one end of the block to the other without stopping to clutch my chest with one hand and my lower back with the other all while breathing like a hippo in heat.

2. Roots? Something on trees...nothing to do with hair. Grey roots showing? What's that?

3. Wearing a bathing suit 24 hours a day and not caring what anyone else thinks.

4. Riding my bike without all the safety gear kids have to wear today....when I fell off my bike I had some really cool scratches, cuts and bruises.

5. Playing house with other little girls and "making out with them" cuz they were the "Daddy."

If you wanna see all the rules I didn't follow....check out Queenie's blog. I'm just not in a rules-following mood right now.